What Passes For Normal

Chapter 24

"Ah, the Strasbourg Defense!" Jello yells at Teddy while pivoting, racquet up and ready for Byron's incoming shot.

We're waiting for our tacos and huddling together at a counter by the front window of the taco shop, watching the video on Teddy's phone. Goodminton is pretty hilarious and yes, as Teddy said, pretty stupid too. Two players serve at the same time, shouting "En garde!" and hitting their birdies in the same direction around the weird three-section court. You don't have time to admire your shot because you've got another birdie coming at you. In the video the guys obviously enjoy calling the birdies "cocks." Teddy tells me it's short for "shuttlecock" and assures me it isn't rude at all. Right.

The direction of serve in goodminton changes every third or fifth time, depending on something I didn't quite catch, and the players have to keep hitting the birdies in the same direction until points are won or someone calls "reversé," at which time players must immediately start hitting their shots in the opposite direction. You can only call reversé once per point apparently.

"It would get too crazy, otherwise," Teddy clarifies.

When someone's shot doesn't clear the net, goes into the wrong court or out-of-bounds, or they miss and the birdie hits the ground, both the other players get a point, which, for some reason, they call a "feather" The scoring is even more complicated than the gameplay and besides feathers, involves things I really don't understand called "quails" and "braces".

To make it even weirder, the guys are all wearing white polo shirts tucked into dark blue or dark green gym shorts. Yes, tucked in. Teddy says they used to wear those old scarf-ties called cravats as part of the uniform, but they got too hot. There's a lot of taunting going on but it's all done in posh English accents, which seem to be a necessary part of the game. At one point, Teddy gets caught by a fierce shot from Byron and the other guys jeer at him. Then Jello can be heard saying, "Dreadful luck, old sod! One wants to keep one's wits about one, doesn't one?"

Teddy and I are laughing pretty hard watching this ridiculousness and when our tacos are ready, the guy behind the counter is smiling at us and looks like he wants in on the joke.

"It's a game," I say to him. "Hard to explain."

T puts his phone away and we dress up our tacos with some hot sauce and dig in, washing them down with pineapple-flavored pop from Mexico. We're still giggling from the goodminton video.

"You have to play tomorrow," I say. "I need to see an actual game!"

"Why not?" says Teddy. "You can be the scorekeeper."

"Oh my god, I could never keep score. It's completely demented!"

"What do you mean? It's so simple!" says Teddy smiling. "Ten feathers to a quail and two quails in a brace. First player to eight braces wins."

"Demented," I say.

"One just needs to keep one's wits about one," says Teddy with a grin.

• • • •

They said thanks to the guy behind the counter and stepped out onto Yates Street. Teddy noticed Darwin looking across the street.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Uh, nothing," said Darwin. "Thought I saw someone I know."

He wondered if she was talking about the kids she used hang out with but he chose not to ask. As they walked down Yates and turned onto Wharf Street, Teddy was asking Darwin about growing up in Kamloops.