"I'll be your summer sun forever,
Forever winter if you go."
☆ ☆ ☆
[DISCLAIMER: Mention of suicide, blood, and depression. Please avoid this chapter if you're sensitive to any of those.]
She looked at him like the fire in her eyes had
been dowsed with ice water, if anything it
makes the blue more pale. He was not used to it, it unnerved him. He wanted her to give freely like she always did but she couldn't. It's like she just crawled right back inside some invisible shell and no matter how hard he tried she was unreachable.
She moved her eyes more slowly, like they're heavy, an effort to move. He wanted to crack his usual jokes but he knew she won't laugh. He was standing right next to her but she might as well be on the moon.
"Akshu, at least say something." Abhimanyu tried for the umpteenth time to get her to talk but in vain. It was 3 a.m in the morning and they both were seated in her bedroom.
"What am I suppose to say, Abhi?" With her head hanging downwards, she spoke.
"Your whole family is on a road trip and you didn't go, this is not normal Akshu." He said and she looked at him with eyes filled with tears.
"What's normal, abhi? I don't even know what's normal anymore?" She cried. Abhimanyu's heart broke into several pieces seeing the woman he love cry like that.
"Talk to me. I'm here. I'll listen." He assured her as he held both her hands with a gentle grip.
"I don't know what to say. I can't describe this emptiness. I just feel so alone and I hate it how it's not anyone's fault." She further broke down.
"I'm here for you, Akshu. I know it's not easy to deal with this. You lost your bestfriend. He was my brother, its hard for me too but Akshu it's been 3 months, you've to stop blaming yourself." Abhimanyu explained to her as he himself was on the verge of crying.
"I can't, I just can't Abhi. I just can't stop thinking about all those 'ifs' that could've saved Neil's life. Aaru is right, I am a bad omen." Akshara cried.
"Don't say that. Death is inevitable. We have no control over it. All we can do is pray for our loved ones." He said wiping the tears off her face.
"Go home, Abhi. Maa must be waiting for you. She won't like it that you're here...with me." She told him and he shook his head.
"Why do we have to live like this? It's been months without you. Come home." Abhimanyu requested her.
"I can't. I can't face the people there Abhi. Everything haunts me. Maa and Aaru don't want me there. I don't want to cause them more pain." Akshara replied.
"We can move somewhere else. Maa will soon realize it's not your fault but please Akshu I need you with me." He pleaded to her.
"I know I'm being selfish right now, Abhi. But you won't get it. I'll just cause more pain to everyone, even you so it's better to let me be. It's the punishment that I've decided for myself." She said with a cracking voice.
"But Akshu..." Akshara cut him off before he could complete.
"Go home, Abhi. Please." She again requested and this time he agreed. He gave her a sympathetic glance before making his way out of her room with tears flowing from his eyes.
It was 4 a.m. when he reached the Birla House. It was all quite and dark, and he expected everyone to be asleep but Manjiri was sitting there in the hall, waiting for her son to arrive at home.
