Unraveling your Heart

Kabanata 19

Have you ever wished to make your dream come true? Have you ever imagine scenes in your head that eventually it became real? I imagine a scene like this.. and, I didn't expect it to be true

Under the cold night with a light post and palm trees, lights in the highway of the airport. Right in front of us is a spacious space of runway for landing, and take off, it's so beautiful at night!

We are sitting at the back of his pick up at inilagay ang mga pagkain na ibinili namin don

He was leaning his both of his hands, supporting his weight, while on the other hand, here i am kissing my knees because of the cold night.

I don't know what to say!

"Alam mo ba yung kwento-kwento dito?" I began

"Hmm?" FUCK! "Ano 'yon?"

"Uh.. Okay.." I cleared my throat at pinagpag ang kamay

"Kwento-kwento kasi dito sa airport na kapag may taong tumambay dito na nagiisa o naglalakad.. basta!" pag sisimula ko

I scanned his face, and he really looks so attentive! "ay... ano..." I stopped

"Ano?" He raised one of his brow

"Uh.. wag na nga!" I felt so ashamed so I stopped

He whined "Ano ngaa?

"Huwag na, nakakahiyaaa" I pouted

"Keep talking, I'll always listen. I'm a listener and attentive for you to know" Ano naman? Pake ko? CHAR!

But having a person who always listen, and attentive to you is such a dream.

"Fine, whatevs!"

"Yung pumupunta kasi daw dito tapos walang tao, ikaw lang.. unfortunate will happen, or mawawala ka nalang ganon! Nakakatakot! pero at the same time gusto ko ma try.."

"That's weird"

"Diba? Alam mo, when I heard those story from our household, I kept on wondering kung what if pupunta ako dito ng mag-isa? Mawawala kaya ako? Also, I want to test if it's true! If totoo, asan kaya ako? Maybe, mawawala? If mawawala then yay!"

I couldn't stop my mouth from talking

"Kung mawawala ka paano na ang mga taong nagaantay sa'yo?" His eyes pierced into mine

"They'll understand, for sure" I smiled at him

"So.. you'll just leave without saying anything?" Kumunot ang noo ko

"W-well.. if aalis naman siguro, magpapa-alam ako, hindi ba ganon?" I drew a thin smile

"You shouldn't leave, lian.."

"Hindi naman talaga ako aalis" I chuckled "Dito lang ako,"

"Promise?" He offered his pinky finger to mine which I didn't expect. I didn't expect this man to be this soft, and still believes in pinky promises. Cute.

"Promise!" Our pinkies are intertwined as we both smiled at each other

We kept on talking things, and I love it.

"Tell me what's your biggest fear..." He started to strike another conversation

"Biggest fear... uhhh.."

"None? Hmm?" He concluded

"Meron.. S'ympre losing someone I love" I stared at the scenery right infront of me

"Losing someone I love pero aalis" I laughed at this comment

"Hoy, grabe ka naman! Hindi kaya. Whatevs ka"

"Whatevs ka" He repeat so as I clicked my tounge kaya naman napatawa siya

The cold air that sent shivers to my skin made me embrace more my knees as I kissed them both. I love this feeling, I love how the air gives me shivers; it makes me feel something that's hard to be stated.

This feels surreal, it feels so true. Is this really not a dream? I once dreamt this. Sitting with a person in a disguise view is something surreal

"You're cold..." He suddenly put the blazer he wore hours ago. I didn't even realize how he got it, he just put it on me.

"T-thank you.." I drew a thin smile

Both of us are quiet like both of us are just observing the things in our surroundings; the trees dancing like it has it's own rhythm, and the air being the empowered things to push the trees to dance.

"Laudato si'" I said as I looked at his manly features

"by Pope Francis?" he cocked his head. He knows the Laudato si' which is new to me

I noded "Care" I looked at the dark sky above with it's light, the moon and stars as I was embracing both of my knees. "Ba't mo alam 'yon?"

Care is the main purpose of Laudato Si'. Care, it is something people can not give, they're full of themselves. They don't give a single shit about the environment and connect with the nature, that's just so sad nowadays

"It's a lesson that every organism should know; a care for the nature, and environment." He knows that, he knows what should people know "We have an organization about that" he continued which made it more shocking

"Weh?" I smiled widely "Nag j-joke 'to. Weh nga?" As I began hitting him playfully

He grabbed my wrist which made me stop hitting him playfully "Do you want to be a volunteer? I can talk to my mom about it,"

The offer sound so irresistible, I want that. However, I'm to shy to say yes

"You want it," he let go of my wrist and looked at the other side and fixed his postion "You're just shy to say it."

Why is he like this? Bakit parang kilala na niya ako? I barely know him except for the fact that he came from a wealthy family, a man who can't moved on from his past lover, and Kevin's cousin.

It feels so illegal to like this man, at first I really thought my feelings for him would just fade away, but my traitor heart betrayed me and let my feelings for this man stay.

Gaslight.

It is something I am really good at to myself. I gaslight myself for thinking this is just how he treat other people. I gaslight myself into thinking this is just an attachment issue because I have never experienced this kind of feelings even with my pasts.

Girls doesn't want to assume and do controlls their mind, but somehow there's this screams into their mind that this kind of thing isn't just about friendship, it is something more than that. However, they gaslight or control themselves into thinking don't assume things, it is just nothing.

Assuming is something I had for years, it's like a piece of me. But, good enough of me to think and grow maturely as I could right now, I was able to tell or control myself into thinking assuming things should not be a priority, and just stop, for we know we'll get hurt at the end, and useless however, some of the things that we assumed is true.

Humikab ako "Hindi ka napagod?"

"I'm okay... We should get going, you're tired," He fixed his postion, and began cleaning the the area that we found ourselves sittting, talking, and enjoying the cold night with the stars and moon above.

-I'm currenly busy this week (sorry for the late ud)