The Smell of Coffee

// NINE // ADAM

I've always wanted a cliché love story. Where both people just fall endlessly and madly in love. Nowadays is just really hard to find someone who is genuine and honest and feels the same way as you. The only relationships I've had has been one sided; I gave way more than I received even though I knew everything around me was happening. I still felt the need to stay around; the security from them made me happy.
This girl gave me the sick to my stomach, butterflies, brain twisted into a giant knot when I look at her type of feeling. Certainly isn't a horrible feeling, it's quite delightful in the richest sense because there's only a few people in your life you make you feel this way. But again like I said most of the time everything is one-sided.

I hope to god we aren't one-sided. I really feel a strong connection with her even though I haven't even said anything quite thoughtful to her. Ironically enough I don't even know her name. That's okay because she doesn't know mine either. I could start over as a new person maybe clean up and my act change, become a little more. I've always wanted to find myself like most people say. I just haven't had the nerve to change. Change scares me; because sometimes in life when we have changed you don't have the same security within your life.Therefore I've seen no reason for change, but the whole new "i'm living with my mother who abandoned me but now wants me because it makes her look good for her job" situation. Maybe I should shave? Maybe I shouldn't, I've been told that I look older and more sophisticated without shaving. i've always wanted to gauge my ears, when I was in seventh grade I pierced my own ears with the cube of ice to numb it right before. It was painful, I could feel the warm blood dripping down my neck. My dad didn't really mind atthis point in time because he was so busy trying to support us.
I decide to head down to the mall, I'm going to make that change that I needed. I glide through the mall because I have purpose for once to be here. Like I said usually I never have anyone to impress, but I found one girl who I really want to impress. People always describe their perfect girl as a curvy, voluptuous, perfect skin, long hair, brunette,blue eyed girl; she was all but that. She's unique: she's perfectly imperfect and it drives me insane. I want to get to know every square inch of her glistening body. I want to know her thought process and how she deals with daily life and difficult situations. I want to know where hobbies and what interest her. I want to know what she does in her free time. I want to know how she feels about me.
I want to know her.