Jay's POV
I've never experienced this type of pain. Since I've lost Bey my world has completely stopped. I don't know how to go on without her , she was my world , one of my favorite girls. They say this will get better but it ain't seeming like it , it ain't seeming like it. The pain I feel is indescribable I'm completely numb and I've ran out of tears . Looking at a beautiful gorgeous lifeless body broke me into pieces .
Her funeral and her burial is today. I have to speak and I don't even know what I'm going to say. I can't even think straight , but I know Babygirl would want me to be strong for my moms , solo , kell , chelle everybody so I'm trying baby I'm trying.
~
My homeboy Tyran came in to check on me , we suppose to be leaving now but I just can't see her like this .
" you good bro ? we suppose to be leaving in 5 minutes " Ty asked walking in and closing the door
" I can't do it man , I can't go see her like that " I said while crying and smoking a blunt
" I know bro and I know it's going to kill you to say goodbye but you need to say goodbye to her physical body her spiritual body will be with you still " he replied
" Man I ain't tryna hear that shit bro I need her here with me , she's been there for me since I was 16 man and now she just gone man sh— she can't be " I said crying not even able to get the rest of my words out I broke down because I don't know how ima do this
" I gotchu bro always , come on man we gotta go " Ty said helping me up off the floor , fixing my tie and my shades " I love you boy we all going to be here for you " Ty added while relighting my blunt as we start to work our way out the house.
I get in the passenger side I take 2 shots and finish my blunt while we are on our way to the service. My palms are sweating , I can't stop the tears from rolling down my eyes. Man fuck it I'm about to roll another blunt. I rolled a nice fat ass blunt and my homeboys rolled they own shit . That bitch was smacking so I had to put it out . 10 minutes later we arrived at the funeral home. I took a deep breathe before I exited the car. My homeboys sprayed me so I wouldn't smell like a pound of weed. They know Bey hated that shit lol. Damn I miss that girl.
We enter the funeral home and it's a line to view her body before the ceremony started. I seen solo standing by the door so I went to go talk to her.
" You good baby sis ? " I asked her as I took off my glasses and became eye level to her
" I'm scared I don't know if I can handle seeing her like that " she said to me fighting back her tears
" I'm not going to lie to you or make some shit up to make it sound good , I don't even know how I'm about to go see her but I know we got to , you & me go in there together and I will not leave your side for a moment I promise " I said to her , she stood up and she hugged me just crying in my arms for a few minutes . Brought tears to my eyes but I have to be strong , the family is breaking down and I can't afford that.
Solo grabs me by the arm and we stand in line to wait to see her. As we got closer and closer my heart started to beat even faster , I felt like my heart was about to be removed from my chest. And the closer we got the more solo grip got tighter. We made it to the front of the line and all I could do was stop. I swallowed a big gulp because I can feel my knees getting weak on me until I felt somebody come hold onto my left arm . It was her mom.
We walked up til we were fully looking at her in the casket and I completely broke down. I couldn't hold it in anymore. Look at my baby I can't let her go. The pastor told all of the family to say their final goodbyes before they close the casket and I completely lose it.
" NOOO YOU CANT DO THIS , ITS NOT RIGHT " I said just leaning on her casket
" We have to say goodbye baby " her mother saying crying as well
" NOO I CANT , THISS HAS TO BE A DREAM " .......
~
I woke up drenched in sweat completely out of breathe. I literally had the worse dream of my life . I fully opened my eyes and seen Beyonce laying in a hospital bed next to me I quickly ran over to her side. I kissed her face over and over again. I tried calling out to her name to see if she would wake up but she's completely knocked out , it had me worried. So I asked to speak with the doctor and he came into our room.
" What's wrong with her Doc , why she ain't waking up " I asked him as I caressed her soft face
" We had to put her in an induced coma we had a lot of complications during her surgery and if she was to simply get up right now she would be in excruciating pain" the doctor said
" How long will she have to be in this coma " I asked the doctor extremely worried
" She will need to be in an induced coma at least for a few more days , her brain experienced extreme damage during her seizure, when we also ran her blood work. We seen that she was pregnant with twins but one didn't survive the surgery . I am truly sorry Mr.Carter "
" What excuse me what ??? What the fuck are you talking about " I said becoming irritated as fuck ....
~~
YOU GUYS KNOW I LOVE MY CLIFF HANGERS ! IM TRYING TO STAY AS CONSISTENT AS POSSIBLE I WOULD LOVE TO FINISH THIS BY THE END OF FEBRUARY. THAT IS MY GOAL FINGERS CROSSED 🤞🏾I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER ! FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS WELCOMED. I hope you guys have a great day ❤️
ČTEŠ
Best friends always become lovers { B&J }
FanfikceBeyonce and Shawn Carter also known as Jayz .. Has been best friends since they could remember. Shawn always knew he cared about Bey more than she probably cared about him but that didnt stop him from telling her how he felt . After everything is sa...
