I'm sorry Ms. Miller

Chapter 12: "I feel safe"

It was now Christmas and for the past few days, I haven’t stopped thinking about Alexandra. The tension was there and we both felt it, but I couldn’t let her speak, I couldn’t let her reject me before I even get the chance to ask her out. I wish she wasn’t my teacher.

Ed and I were planning to spend the day together. My parents aren’t doing anything for Christmas, they are still not talking to each other, and I can feel the tension between them building up, I just hope I’m not home when they explode.

I walked over to Marcus’s house, we played video games, watched movies, and to top it off, we ordered pizza. We went to sleep at 1 in the morning. The next day he, Rachel, and I went for a walk and then for coffee. I then returned home and started working on the endless amount of homework I had.

Until New Year’s Eve I did everything I could to keep my mind occupied and to avoid thinking of her. I spent New Year’s Eve with Marcus and we did the exact same thing we did for Christmas. It wasn’t ideal, but it was better than nothing. The next day we went to a café and got breakfast together and we went back to his house to play video games. Rachel was spending the day with her family.

That’s the rest of my days went by, chilling with Rachel and Marcus and studying for school, I also finished two books and worked on a few of my sketches.

I was dreading going back to school because I didn’t know how to face Ms. Miller, but at least I would get a break from my parents.

Now that they weren’t speaking they would make me tell each other things, they also went shopping separately and cooked separately and no matter whose food I chose to eat the other one would give me a hard time about it.

My father was getting drunk every day and my mum disappeared for hours every day without explanation.

On Monday, they informed us that we would be taking our report cards this week. Everything else went on smoothly. During algebra I didn’t look at Ms. Miller for the whole class and when the bell rang I run out of the class. When I got home I told my mum about the report card and went to my room.

That’s how the rest of the week went by, school, study, chatting with my friends, and sleep. Oh and actively avoiding Ms. Miller. My report card was straight A’s and my mother congratulated me for it.

On Friday night, both my parents came home drunk, and I knew that this wasn’t going to end well.

-“You asshole, you are ruining my life” My mum yelled stuttering at my dad and he got up from the couch with a bottle of jack in his hand.

-“You are the one ruining your life by being a bitch” She pushed him “You hoe, how dare you touch me?” He growled and she gave him the middle finger

-“Fuck off” She told him and pushed him again. He slapped her. “You are such a pussy”

They started yelling at each other and my dad pushed her and hit her a couple of times. He lifted his hand to punch her and I knew he would knock her out. I run and grabbed his hand with all my strength to stop him.

-“Run” I told to my mum and left through the front door. He slapped me and then grabbed me by my neck.

-“YOU PIECE OF SHIT”

I was gasping for air, he punched me and let me fall to the ground. He kicked me a couple of times and I cried out in pain.

-“GO GET YOUR STUFF AND LEAVE OR I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL KILL YOU”

I run into my bedroom and grabbed my hearing aids, some batteries, my phone, my wallet, and some money I had aside. I shoved them in a bag and run out of the house as fast as I could.

As I was running my whole body was in pain and tears were streaming down my face. Before I knew it I was ringing Alexandra’s bell, it was the only place I felt safe. She opened the door in her pj’s and she immediately hugged me. She grabbed my waist to support me and helped me to the living room. I dropped onto her couch exhausted.

She sat next to me and pulled me into a hug, I laid my head on her chest and she rubbed circles on my back as I was sobbing. I could hear her heart beating and that helped me calm down a little.

My heart was still racing and my breathing was irregular. I pulled away and she went into the kitchen, she came back with a glass of water and ice. I drank the water and put the ice on my face, she helped me place it correctly and then the moved her hand to my neck. She looked at me horrified.

-“It was him wasn’t it?” I gave her a nod. I looked at her, she must have been sleeping because her hair was messy.

She was caressing my thigh for comfort as I held the ice to my eye. We sat in silence until the ice melted. She took it from my hand and came back with another glass of water and a mini chocolate bar, she handed them to me.

-“Thank you” I broke the silence and she started caressing my thigh again, I ate the chocolate and then drank the water. I felt exhausted but I’m not sure I could sleep.

-“You should go lay down” I shook my head no and leaned my head on her shoulder. She caressed my head and I felt my eyelids getting heavy. “You should sleep on the bed tonight” She said getting up.

-“Please, I don’t want to be alone” I begged and I felt like crying again she sat back down and held my head in her hug.

-“I know, it’s okay, I’ll stay with you. Let’s go inside together, ok?” I nodded and took my shoes off.

We went into the bedroom and her bed was unmade, which meant that I did wake her up. I laid down and pulled the covers over me. She lay next to me and I turned to look at her.

-“I’m sorry for waking you up”

-“I’m glad you woke me up, thank you for trusting me” I nodded and moved closed and hugged her. It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep.