My Psychiatrist || Soukoku

1|| Silhouettes Of The Past

Hello! 

Most of the people probably think I have an empty life so I constantly making new fanfictions lol! 

I promise I will finish all of my fanfictions!

I will continue to them after publishing my 25th fanfiction's first chapter... 

Writing is my passion and I feel like everything will be okay while I'm writing... 

That is the reason why I make so much fanfictions. 

If you want you can listen "Get You the Moon" song by Kina feat Snow. 

Warning! 

This story is a boy x boy story! There may be smut! If you don't like it or if you are a homophobic, please don't read my story. I won't tolerate any hate comments. I will just simply delete your comment and block you. If you have no respect, you have no place in my story. Of course you can criticize my work, but with respect! 

This story is for my friend ^-^! 

I really want to thank her for reading my stories and listened everything I told lol! 

Enjoy! 

⊱ ───── {.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.} ──── ⊰

Dazai Osamu 

I was here again, in my favorite place, sitting in front of the large window in my room, living in my alternative reality. I was happy in my alternative reality. I haven't been talking. I could, but I didn't want to. Besides not talking, I haven't show any reaction to anything since last year. When I heard my door swung open, I looked at that direction. I saw my so called mother walked in and approached the chair I was sitting. "Dazai." She knelt in front of the chair I was sitting and held my hands. I frowned and yanked my hands away from her grisp. The fake loving tone in her voice made me feel sick to my stomach. 

She let out a sigh. "Please... Just a single word..." She literally begged, but I knew she didn't really care. When she understood I wasn't going to talk, she let out a sigh and left my room. 

I walked after her silently. Actually I knew where she was going and what was going to happen, but I followed anyway. I stood a few steps away from the door of their room. They wouldn't notice me after all. 

"He isn't talking." My mother told to my father. 

"Then how he will be able to be the head of our company?" My father talked with a harsh voice. 

"He used to talk until the last year, so maybe he can talk again." My mother said. 

I didn't want to listen anymore so I walked back to my room. I sat on the armchair in front of my large window and closed my eyes, thinking about the day I stopped talking. Even thinking about it brought tears into my eyes. Tears began flowing down my cheeks, but I didn't sob. I just cried silently. This was the first reaction I showed in one year, but I wasn't going to show this to them. There was no way I let them to know that I still have a weak side. 

⊱ ───── {.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.} ──── ⊰

I didn't know how much time had passed, but I must had fallen asleep. Because when I heard my door was swung open again I woke up. I frowned and saw my mother. My parents never respected my privacy. They would just come into my room without knocking. 

"We made a decision." My mother spoke. 

I was just looking at her with a blank expression. 

She noticed that I wasn't interested at all but she continued speaking without caring about it much. "We will hire a psychiatrist for you." 

I didn't react. Neither positive nor negative. I just kept my flat expression. She let out a sigh again. She probably thought I would say something to reject, or at least show a reaction, but she couldn't get what she wanted. So she left my room. 

As soon as she was out I locked my door and began throwing things to the ground. I wasn't throwing things which can be broken, because I didn't want them to hear and come to my room. Then I threw myself to my bed and began sobbing. Because of the pillow my sobs were muffled. 

⊱ ───── {.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.} ──── ⊰

I woke up in the morning when my so called mother knocked on my door, since I didn't unlock it last night she couldn't get in, saying that my new psychiatrist was waiting for me downstairs. I didn't even bother to get out of my room. Nobody could help me. This person was not an exception either. 

After a few minutes, maybe 10 minutes or 15 minutes had passed I don't know, there was no clock in my room because the tick tock sounds were triggering me and I wasn't also keeping a digital clock because I hated the beeping sound, the door of my room knocked. 

"Hello." It was a young man's voice. "May I come in? If your answer is no, clap your hands once, and if your answer is yes,  clap your hands twice." 

I let out a sigh and clapped my hands twice before unlocking the door. 

He was way much shorter than me. It seemed like he was in the same age with me. Maybe he was a few years older. 

"Hi Dazai. I'm Chuuya Nakahara, your new psychiatrist. Nice to meet you." He gave a small smile. 

This smile... It looked so sincere... It reminded me of his smile... I felt tears filled my eyes. Chuuya looked at me with a worried expression on his face. "Dazai are you okay?" He asked. He wiped my tears away with his thumb gently. I didn't even notice that I was crying. He pulled me into his arms and gave me a warm hug. I stood still in his arms like a statue for a little, but then I hugged him back. It had been a year since someone hugged me. I missed that feeling. He was stroking my hair and telling the shits I was sick to hear, but somehow his soft voice was convincing. So I eventually hugged him back. 

⊱ ───── {.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.} ──── ⊰

Chuuya placed a notebook on my desk. "If you want to say something, you can write it down." 

I frowned. I really wanted to write 'If I wanted to say something, I wouldn't stop talking in the first place, right?' 

"I guess you don't want. I'm sorry it is my fault. I won't force you to talk or write, okay? So why don't you show me around? The place is so big and I'm really bad with directions." Chuuya chuckled lightly. "As I was looking for your room, I went into the wrong rooms twice." 

I felt my lips formed into a smile and nodded my head. 

Chuuya held my hands and stared into my eyes. "I hope you will trust me someday enough to tell me what is the reason why you stop talking, Dazai just like you showed me your smile. Because I really want to help you." I normally didn't like when people, especially some random strangers, touched me, but I didn't want to pull my hands away for some reason either. 

I didn't know why... 

'I don't want to trust you that much... Because you are here just because it is your job... You will go when your job is over...' 

I really wanted to say these to him, but I didn't. 

I couldn't. 

'I really don't want your job here is to over...' 

⊱ ───── {.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.} ──── ⊰

Well... 

I just wanted to show how bad parenting can effect someone... 

I will explain why Dazai stopped talking in the next chapters. 

To the people who is reading/will read my story: I love you! 

Stay safe! 

See you in the next chapters!