The Lion and The Serpent

Hermione

My eyes shot open. I turn my head to the clock on the bedside table. It reads 4:43 am. I'm exhausted even though I just woke up. I don't sleep much anymore. The nightmares have taken over my dreams. I'm drenched in sweat and my heart is racing. There is no point in going back to sleep now, I wouldn't sleep even if I tried. I'm too tired to do anything and yet too awake to fall back asleep, terrified the nightmares will return once I close my eyes. I got up and went to the shower as quietly as possible, careful not to wake Ginny sleeping on the other side of the room. I guess the nightmare was more mild this time, since I don't remember it. Today, we head for the Hogwarts Express. I am going back to complete my seventh year, which means I'll be in the same year as Ginny. Harry and Ron are coming back also, although they don't seem very different from before the war. I stand in the shower for what felt like an hour, and very well might be. I just let the hot water relax my muscles and wash away the horrible night I just woke from. Finally, around 6 in the morning, Mrs. Weasley wakes up.

"Oh dear, Hermione, why are you up so early?" She asks me.

"I couldn't sleep. Nerves I guess."

I lied to her and it hurt me to do so but I didn't need her worrying about me, especially with us leaving today. She's had a hard enough time adjusting since the war herself that she doesn't need my worries also. She misses Fred, we all do. Nobody is willing to talk about it, least of all George. He doesn't make eye contact with anyone anymore and hardly leaves his room.

Mrs. Weasley starts on breakfast for everyone, seeing as we all have a big day ahead of us. I walk outside hoping the cool autumn air will ease my mind. In the front yard of the burrow there is a large oak tree. I walk towards the oak tree with a warm cup of butterbeer and sit under it. Mr. Weasley wants to leave around 9 this morning for King's Cross Station. Knowing the second I walk back in the house I won't get an ounce of peace and quiet, I enjoy every second now. I shrink back into my head, forgetting where I am.

After about an hour of just sitting outside trying to turn my mind off and failing miserably, I hear someone come up beside me. I turn and see Ginny staring at me cautiously, as if I might break if she says the wrong thing. My mind is racing replaying the worst of the war over and over. I wish it wasn't real.

"Hey, breakfast is ready. Are you okay? You were gone when I woke up." She cares so much for me and I hate that I feel like I can't talk to her. She didn't go through what I did but she went through a lot. She's my best friend. I used to tell her everything and vice versa, but now, I feel completely alone in my misery.

"Yeah I'm okay. Nerves, that's all. Let's go inside." I lied again. It's becoming a habit.

Everyone else is starting to stir and come around. Mrs. Weasley yells for everyone to get up and come eat breakfast.

Mrs. Weasley made sticky buns for breakfast and we had pumpkin juice, although I spiked mine with some firewhiskey when nobody was looking. It seems to be the only way my mind will numb. It may not be the best way, but it works and at this point, anything will do. We all gathered around the table to eat and have one last meal as a makeshift family before we all head to Hogwarts for our last year. George and Percy were quiet the whole time, but nobody needs to ask to know what is going on in their heads. It's the same thing we all have been trying to avoid discussing since the war. George's eyes didn't come off his plate the entire meal and while Percy looked up, he didn't make eye contact with anybody.

Just before 10, we all sparser to Kings Cross Station. Harry and Ginny haven't left each others side since breakfast. They had finally confessed their feelings for each other during the war. I have never seen either of them as happy as when they are together. I am very happy for them, truly, however there is a thick air of awkwardness surrounding myself and Ron. We had kissed in the Chamber of Secrets after destroying one of the horcruxes. We got caught up in the moment. Ron had confessed he had feelings for me after the war had ended. I was crazy about him too all throughout our years at Hogwarts, but as time has passed and our coping methods haven't aligned, I'm not sure we should be together. I asked him to give me a little time to think things through and try to get past everything that has happened in the last year. He says he understands what I went through and that he wants to help me, but he can't. Things have been awkward ever since. I guess he liked me more than I thought. I love Ron, but I closed myself off from everyone, including Harry and Ginny, my best friends, after the war. I feel like just a shell of a person. Ron deserved better. We are friends, in fact he's one of my best friends, but we are still trying to find our way back to normal. I just can't bring myself to let anyone in. After seeing what happened to all my friends, I'm scared to let anyone in again. I watched some of my best friends die in this war. George isn't the same and probably never will be. He lost the most in the war. His built-in best mate was killed. Fred's death hurt us all but not nearly as much as him. The war brough Harry and Ginny together, but it's obvious they are still struggling with the aftermath of what happened.

We all piled our trunks on trollies as Mrs. Weasley started talking. "Alright dearies, let's go to the platform. We don't want to be late now." Mrs. Weasley was putting on a brave face even though we all know she is sad to see us leaving, even if it is for a few months. We made it to Platforms 9 and 10. In turn, we each ran towards the pillar. Harry first, then Ron, followed by myself, and Ginny. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley weren't far behind us.

On Platform 9 3/4, a beautiful red and black steam engine is in front of us.

"I'm going home." I whisper loud enough for only myself to hear. But in my head, my thoughts are racing. 'Is Hogwarts going to be home anymore?' 'Is it worth going home?' 'Is this what I need to fix the issues I've been having for months?' 'Can I even step on the grounds without flashbacks and panic following?'

"Alright children, quick hugs and onto the train before it leaves." I jump a little as Mrs. Weasley says this. I really need to try and not daydream as much.

She hugs us all once and Mr. Weasley takes our trunks to the storage compartment.

As we walk onto the train, my ears are filled with kids excitedly talking to their friends they haven't seen in 3 months. I find it slightly annoying. I guess I've become a little bitter since the war, but can anyone blame me after everything I've lost. The four of us find an empty compartment to occupy. I look out the sliding glass door as Malfoy walks by with his eyes focused on the ground. The stupid git is by himself. He is the reason Hogwarts wasn't safe last year. He is the reason I lost some of my best friends. He is the reason Harry almost died, and I was tortured. He's the reason my parents are no longer in my life. He deserves to be miserable and alone. If I never saw him again, it would be too soon.

"Serves him right." I mumble.

We wave goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley out the window as the fog horn bellows and we're off towards our final year at Hogwarts.