SMALL DOSES || JIKOOK✅

29

JIMIN POV

Mouth melding with mine, my head spun and fists balled in my lap when Jungkook swept his tongue along the seam of my lips.

I was surprised he was there in the first place.

Shocked by his brazenness.

Stunned into submission by his actions.

I could not believe this was happening.

Instead of putting a stop to my performance once I'd laid eyes on Jungkook, I'd sung louder.

What on earth had possessed
me to do that?

Was I trying to serenade him?

I'd briefly wondered if he'd overheard mine and hobi's conversation but he sure as hell wasn't behaving like he had.

My scathing words ran through my head on repeat as I imagined the damage they could cause.

Was my refusal to acknowledge
I felt anything more for him beyond a one-time fuck some sort of challenge?

Or was he just toying with me, seeing how much he could
screw with my head before he left me bleeding?

I had no idea.

What I did know was that I couldn't give him any kind of hope because if I did, I'd only end up hurt and alone.

Jungkook pulled back to look
at me, his expression turning serious as he took in mine.

"I'm sorry."

"I thought that you might
have changed your mind."

"That you wanted to... to..."

he stammered, his hands shaking as they let go of my face.

I had to hide how much I felt
the loss of his warmth.

"Well, you thought wrong."

The frustration in my voice
was obvious.

He hesitated, his mouth opening and closing and a tiny whimper snuck out right before he spoke.

"I was sure I could do this but
it turns out I can't. I quit."

Tone defeated, he shook his head, eyes moist, expression pained.

"You what? Why? Because I won't give you what you want?"

I was baiting him because I
had no idea how to deal.

Of course, the sex had been mind-blowing but there was
so much more to it than that.

Not only did the electricity zing between us when we were together so much so that I
found it impossible to focus
on anything else but I also
liked Jungkook.

"That's not it."

"That's not it at all."

"I know I promised I'd walk
away if us working together
was still a problem but I was
also convinced I didn't
want a relationship."

"I realize now I was
kidding myself."

"Seeing you every day and
not being able to touch you
will kill me and if I don't put a stop to it, I'll never recover."

The tone in those whispered words lanced right through
me, splitting me in two.

When the tears spilled free from his saddened eyes, he turned and walked away while I sat there, unable to move.

The pain with every step he
took tore at my insides.

It was only once he disappeared and I heard the exit door slam that I found my voice, and as I whispered in quiet desperation.