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Trigger Warning: torture and vague mention of S.A.

I had thought Rose would be with me when I ate, whether she pulled me elsewhere or sat with me in Tristan's suite. I was wrong. She had placed the food on a table in front of the couches and left me alone, with Tristan. And he wanted to talk.

He had asked about my day and how I was adjusting and all varieties of mundane, generic questions, most of which were responded to with a shrug. After the fourth question, I was informed, first, that I was allowed to eat, as I hadn't taken a bite of anything while he was, and, second, that he wants me to speak when I respond.

There were questions about my life, all of which had a basic answer. He had asked me about where I would go if I didn't have to worry about being a breeder. I haven't entertained that thought in so long that I had no idea of an answer. I don't even know my options. I know nothing about the world, its places, its creatures, its traditions.

I sigh, looking down at my barely touched plate, "I don't know. I don't know much about anything in this world. My whole life has been spent in that barn, I really don't remember much before it."

"That's ok, I can teach and show you anything you want," Tristan smiles at me, "Are you not hungry?"

"I've not had this much food in years, I'm just not used to having so much," I laugh slightly.

"You'll get used to it," he reaches out and grabs my hand, "Just promise me you will try to eat a little of every meal. I'll have Rose make sure you get to every meal to help."

It's my turn to smile at him, "I promise," and I mean it—I am going to take advantage of having as much food as I can while I can. I pause for a moment, "Rose doesn't need to look after me, I don't want to pull her away from where she is needed."

"Rose is needed here. I have known her for a long time," six years, "Her chores are what I assign her and when she finishes, she floats around to help out, more often than not finding and bothering me" he says with a smile, indicating that he doesn't mind, "I'm happy she has other things to do, maybe I can finally get some work done."

He laughs and I want to say something, to ask him wouldn't it be better for her to help around the palace? But he speaks again before I get the chance, "Honestly, I needed to find something for her to do. The full moon, a Harvest Moon, is in a few days and next week is the Autumn Equinox. She would have felt hurt if I kicked her out so this is a better way to get Rose off my hands."

I tilt my head to the side, "What is that?"

Tristan is in the middle of taking another bite of food when I ask so we wait a few moments while he chews before he speaks, "What is what?"

"A Harvest Moon and Autumn Equi- Equ-, that second thing?"

"You don't know what a Harvest Moon or Autumn Equinox is?" I shake my head no, "What did you do to celebrate Full Moons?"

"Nothing."

Tristan's eyes scrunch together, "Well, when did you shift then?"

"Never." Tristan stills. His eyes unfocus like he isn't fully present—stuck in his head.

"How is that possible? Doesn't your wolf grow restless?"

"I wouldn't know," I shrug, "I hadn't even shifted when I first arrived." My eyes defocus, my mind going back to when I was ten. "The only time anyone would shift was during cold nights so the others could cuddle into something warm. My first shift was agonizing," I curl into my body, wrapping my arms around my knees, shuddering at the memories. "One of my sisters, her name was Octavia—Via, had taken to taking care of me. She would always hold me to go to sleep, defend me from the Sellers, and make sure I was okay. I trusted her with my life, with everything. I was twelve when I shifted for the first time. It was so many hours but Via was there, calming me through it. Most of my sisters gathered around to watch me—some of them shifted, and waited to greet me once I had completed mine."

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