A Portfolio Of J. Kend

An Essay on Being Broken

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We've come to the last part of everything.

These things have come past us now.

I wanted to be with you. You wanted to be with him so I am letting you go.

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This is the wonder of love. When the pain is a cut deeply sewn through your chest, and that your heart has finally come to its limit-the beating softly coming down to an instant stop. You know when the pain had come and did undone the heartbreak. It is here already... You left with nothing but a choice. Let her go. Let her go... Let yourself go.

Maybe the sickness was the last straw. But you already knew this, you just ignored and denied the rest. Then you finally get the hint when you saw it. Out with your own very eyes, your special one smiling to someone new. You used to admire that from a short distance but now she was already walking far ahead...And you are here, alone and left sullen.

She was happy, I was not. But I tried to fit in her world, because that I must do. I must be the person that takes everything that she asks me to. Even when she doesn't know it, I tried hard to be enough for her. But sometimes, love is not the only thing. It is not the only thing. Love can never be just enough, because Love can be unfair. You get to fall for someone, yet sometimes, that someone gets to fall not to you.

But you still tried and hope she'd accept you; you made yourself believe on those lucky charms and love stories and rom-com movies that made you wait for nothing but tears of reality. She is now happy, and I am still not. I get to see that pretty smile, those loving eyes that crinkle and that always looked so innocent and serene... But I didn't get to be happy for her. I got nothing but the suffering of forgetting her. This is not the ending I wanted.

But it's what I already got.

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Written_by_James_Kend