✅ My Sister's Problem

107. Everything Changes

"Who's a stinky little baby," Mum teased me, and I wondered if she was a little upset with me, until I saw the big smile on her face. She would never want me to feel bad, would she? I blushed, and tried to hide my face. She'd already spread a plastic mat out on the floor, I guess to make it easier to clean up after my change, and there was a bag of changing supplies in the corner of the bathroom. It was hard to believe, sometimes, just how organised she was. I guessed that she must have moved the stuff there in advance while she was sorting out the shopping, or something like that. Or maybe this morning, if she had expected Lindy to do something like this. She was always ready for everything that happened; any time we ever tried to outthink Mum, it turned out she was a dozen moves ahead; or playing a completely different game.

"I am," I squeaked, still blushing crimson.

"Yes, you are. Do you want me to keep on babying you while we change? It's up to you."

"I just want to be clean," I answered right away. Sure, at other times I might have loved how it made me feel when she talked down to me. But not now; this was just gross.

"Okay. So I take it Lindy found that the trigger works now?"

"Yes! How did that happen? I mean..."

"I think it didn't work before because you couldn't imagine it. But with the suppository last time, you felt something similar enough to a real accident to give it a place in your subconscious. That's my guess. Or just repeating the scenes where the video tells you to imagine it has let you find a more realistic depiction in your mind. Something that's familiar enough for you to act it out."

"I don't want to..." I started, and then took a deep breath. "It's terrifying. To think that Lindy can do that to me now. What happens if she says it at school or something? We'll be going to the same school next week, and... Ugh. I heard years ago that hypnosis can't make you do something you don't want. But this is way over the line for me, and she could still do it. So how do I know..."

"I understand that. But I think I understand it a little. From the research I've done. I think that what you want is flexible. Because you like being treated as a baby, don't you? And you like feeling helpless. So the file just reminded you that doing these things will make you feel helpless, and that it's something a baby would do. Maybe you wouldn't consciously let yourself do that, you wouldn't think that it's acceptable. But it's your unconscious responses that matter for hypnosis. And that doesn't assess something more than one level deep. It's like... I want to feel like a baby, this will make me feel like a baby. And that's good enough to let it happen."

"I guess..." I mumbled, and I thought maybe I could understand that. My mind was a very strange thing, more confusing than anything I'd tried to understand before. But I still had worries. "But what if she..."

"She shouldn't. You've done very well so far at following the instructions on the video. You don't remember them clearly, do you? It did say that very good subjects might not. So that reinforces my belief that you will do exactly what the instructions say. And that's to feel like a baby whenever your Mommy says the magic words. And it asks you to imagine your Mommy during the video. That's the important thing. Nobody else can use it, unless I specifically tell you that she's your babysitter, and to be good for her. So this morning was an exception. I strongly suspect, and hope, that you wouldn't obey the words from her any other time. Even if she tries it."

"Yeah..." I mumbled, thinking back. I realised now that Lindy had tried the words a few times before, and I'd just thought she was teasing me about how helpless I could be; or maybe trying it on the off-chance. She had been testing the safety features in the script, I could tell now. "I shouldn't have to worry about that. I guess. Does that mean you can make somebody else my babysitter? I mean... if I find somebody who'd want to do that?" My mind was racing now. Thinking about what Hugo Eisen had said before we left. How he couldn't cope with dating, because he didn't know what to say and when, but he'd been able to imagine being a babysitter, which had a clear set of rules and expectations to follow. It was easy to imagine him as my babysitter... even if I knew that the whole idea was too crazy for words.