Opening Doors

Chapter 12- The Threesome

***Upcoming chapter may be triggering... and not meant for those under 18**

New year, new me! We hear this all the time, right? Well, I was serious. After last year, this should be easy. I now had to find redirection and figure out what I had to do with my life and what other big life goals I had. Time to analyze the bucket list...

-Get my first tattoo
-Go to Disney World
-Go to Vegas
-Ride a helicopter
-Ride a hot air balloon
-Go to and in the oceans and eat cake by the oceans
-Try new things
-Get a new car
-Get a new house
-Get a new job
-Go to Scotland and meet my family
-See the world
-Meet my perfect soul mate (added on thereafter everything and me now doubting everything...)

Well, shit let's do this! Right? Besides how better to get my mind off Moon than traveling and upgrading my life? It's not like if Moon and I made it, I would be financially stable anyway. I had to few more stable in my life before I could even consider a love anyway. Did Moon pop in my head constantly and the signs continue, actually, hell yeah they did. Except this time when they would, it felt more like torture. And I still wasn't sure I wanted to tell him what happened. I wasn't entirely sure, and what would that change? I also wouldn't want him to be with me for all the wrong reasons. It was a blessing in disguise. It was time to get my life back into gear.

First thing I did, was contact the Air Force national guard. If the army wouldn't have me, I was told they probably would. And I did love planes. Shit last year I was taking free ground classes before I left for training. Time to reanalyze. Maybe Air Force is where I'm actually supposed to be and it's still in the military. Why not, right? But first I had to go get a PFT test and pass that and prove I didn't have asthma. That shouldn't be hard, since I found out I had damn pneumonia that whole damn time I was there, of course, I couldn't fucking breathe! It all fucking made sense! And it's like I get that shit once a year around now anyway. How did that manage to slip my damn mind?! Didn't matter, I had a new direction and I was sticking with it! Now I just had to wait...

It was the first week of February and my friend, Sally, was having a birthday party. We normally would go karaoke-ing, but she was saying the people there were not into it and we would just be staying at her place.

See this was hard for me because I finally got the strength to get out of bed, I had just quit my job at MATC because my boss basically made me feel like I wasn't wanted there and was guilt-tripping me about the temp and how she was supposed to be there until the end of the semester and she felt bad, but you do realize I got back and you're supposed to keep my job when I get back no matter when that may be? Didn't stop her from making me feel like I was an inconvenience and that she didn't want me there. So I said ok, I'll quit then, so she can keep her job (not like a mom of 4 kids needs a job or anything... but screw that I knew I could find a new and better job anyway... I took it as a sign, to finally leave, I didn't feel appreciated there anyway. And all anyone ever did was gossip and I wasn't about that... shit they'll have a field day with all this.) Apparently, I inspired her too when I took the move and headed in a different direction. Well, I should work where I'm happy, right?

Well, I won't lie, I went into a depression. I lost my jobs, the guy, possibly a baby, and my dreams all in less than a month. It seemed to hurt more losing Moon than my ex-husband. Quite a sting, the person that's supposed to be your twin flame chooses someone else over you, and I can't remember the exact words he said between me asking if he was dating Dani and me saying it's a yes or no answer thing, but he basically was trying to dodge the question per the usual when I asked if he was with anyone else while I was gone... shocked I got an actual answer from him. I cut him off before he could say anything else and sent his shit back to him. Shit for all I know, I wasn't the only bitch to wear that hoodie and he even said the headband he had originally had gotten for someone else and basically was trying to pawn off all of his ex's old shit on me that she left behind, like her used Harry Potter coloring book. Don't I feel special? See before I found out the stuff about Dani, I had already sent out two Nizza Crates. A Christmas one and a Valentine's Day one. Filled with funko pops and shirts and various other bullshit of stuff I knew he liked. I felt so stupid, why was I giving so much to a guy that gave me so little?! This had to stop, and that tower moment of the Dani thing, was just the trigger I needed. Now I needed to get my mind off him and his energy off me. (Because once you fuck their energy lingers on you) I had to cover all bases to get him out of my energy. I got rid of the things he gave me. I fucking bought two candles and one wick. (I Bought 3, one for Jay, Ant, and Moon) the first two went smoothly where I craved my name and their's in the opposite candle and the wick just broke apart... now the strange shit that happened with Moon's pissed me off... so I light this damn candle right?! The flame goes so damn high it gets a little uncontrollable and I find myself trying to put it out. I literally almost set my couches in my room on fire. And once I got the flame out the damn wick still wouldn't break!!! How the living fuck is this even possible?! So irritating!! How do I get this guy out of energy?! I know! If sex, gets someone's energy on you, then I had to fuck someone else!