A Flower Between the Thorns: A Mafia Romance [REWRITING]

Chapter 20: letting go

Fleur's POV

I woke up still wrapped in Fillip's arm; everything that happened yesterday started registering, and I, surprisingly enough, smiled. I thought of the way he touched me, the way he kissed my lips and my body, and the way he told me he wanted me. He was awake too, his hand still going over my back as if he hadn't stopped since yesterday. I never wanted him to stop.

"You can go, Fleur." That was the only thing he said, not elaborating further. I hoist myself up on my elbows, covering myself with the black sheets, staring at him in disbelief.

"You know, Fillip, in the time I've gotten to know you—and that's quite some time—and with everything that you've done to me, that's the lowest you've ever gone. The least you could do is act normal until we both get out of there."

"I mean, you can leave Fleur; you can leave here and go." He explained without even looking me in the eye, and it still took me some time to understand what he had meant.

"You mean never come back?" Fillip only nodded.
"Why now?" I asked, still in disbelief.

"Why now? Didn't you always hate it here?"

"You just had sex with me. So you were just giving your maid a go before you excused me to leave? What kind of human are you?"

He also sat, the sheets sliding down his smooth chest as he stared at me in anger. I everted my gaze to his eyes before my focus could slip any longer. "You're not a maid, Fleur; you haven't been for months." He pushed me onto my back, getting on top of me, his head shaking as he did so, as if he didn't want to do so but could not control himself. "I'm not just giving you a go; this is the best sex I've had in six years," he said in a low rasp.

"You don't understand Fleur." I could barely breathe as he stared at me intensely, restraining himself. "You think I want you to leave? The only thing that could make me fucking breathe is you, but I can't have that without risking your life and your sister's. I can't have that without destroying you. I can't live with myself taking any more innocent lives, Fleur. I can't." He carried on, still looking at me.

"You need to leave. I will keep looking for your sister, but for your safety and your sister's. For the sake of trying to have the normal life you've been wishing for for years. You can't stay with someone like me." He finally looked away. His eyes were bloodshot as he tried to maintain his composure.

"To Italy, to England, anywhere Fleur, anywhere he won't think of searching for you in, anywhere but near me." He said as he got off me.

My brain couldn't come up with an answer. I indeed wanted to leave, but now I don't know if I actually wanted to anymore. The more he mentioned my sister, the more my heart sank. She's still with that sick bastard.

After a few minutes of looking around and at each other, I kissed him. I held his face in my hand and kissed him hard, the way he kissed me yesterday like there was no tomorrow, because he knew. If it was a thank you or a goodbye, maybe both, my heart couldn't decide. It fluttered when he turned me over on my back and kissed me back gently. Relishing this kiss, our last kiss. So undemanding unlike him, so unrushed unlike me. Gentle, ponderous, yet exquisitely elegant, as if he were reminiscing, although I hadn't even left yet.

"Please go, Fleur. Or I wouldn't be able to control myself." He whispered hoarsely. I gulped as I took him in one last time. Tears fell from my eyes. I wouldn't be able to trust my body either. And if I wanted less heartbreak and misery, I should leave now, and so I did.

"Goodbye, Fillip," I said, walking out of his room, not awaiting an answer, after wearing his shirt. My dress was too much of a mess to even think about.

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Fillip's POV:

I got up and went to the bathroom immediately after she left to take a shower. I knew that no matter how hard I tried, I wouldn't be able to get her off of me. Not anytime soon. Not ever. The water ran through me, but that feeling was preserved inside of me. The feeling of being shackled again. That I can't breathe anymore. That the silence is sucking away my soul as it always did before Fleur. Now it was back.

She should have hated me. She was doing such a great job of doing so at the beginning. For too long, I hadn't felt anything towards a woman, and I thought it was easy now, but she came, and everything started to change. Nothing was easy anymore. Not looking at her, not breathing, not even talking.

Last night shouldn't have happened, but I couldn't let her go without feeling her, tasting her, and touching her. I couldn't let her go without feeling her skin on mine and her lips on my lips. I had to make sure she felt the fire burning inside me as well, and it was so much better than I would have anticipated. When I saw her tears when I asked her to go away, I almost kissed them away. Then I would have kissed her sadness away too, but she wouldn't have left.

But I didn't want her either.
Why did I just let her go?

For her to live, I convinced myself as the water kept running to the point where it was burning my skin. To keep her safe and have her live the rest of her life. For her not to suffer the fate of being stuck in a world like this any longer.

For her not to suffer Marie's fate.

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A/N: its been a while lol😭😭 anyways this was a part of last chapter but since I changed something's in it its now its own chapter. Not even thousand words but im trying to get chapters done. If youd like to see the change check out chapter 19!!!

Dont forget to comment and vote if you enjoyed this chapter!!! Have a nice day💕💕