Ya'aburnee

Before I met Death

"You can't hide in here forever, Cia," was the first thing she said to me. I remained in my same position, not turning to look at her, but I saw in the reflection of the window how she had sat down on the bed and had her gaze fixed on me.

"Good thing it's not forever then," I said back.

It was the first time that I had spoken in days.
Or maybe those words were not mine.
The voice that carried them certainly didn't sound like it belonged to me.

"Alright, I see you still have your sense of humor. I guess that's a good sign." Her shoulders slumped down and she quietly sighed in relief. I knew mother was trying to open up to me by lightening up the atmosphere, easing this almost visible weight settled around us in the room. But I didn't move a single muscle, made no effort to continue the discussion, I had never asked for. We fell into the kind of silence that is so quiet and so loud at the same time because we both had a lot to say but it was so much that none of us said anything.
At least until the bubble burst.

"It's a curse," she said as an answer to one of my unspoken questions. "A very old curse that has been dominating our island for over hundreds of years now, maybe even thousands."

"A curse?", I repeated, watching as confusion embedded itself into the reflection of my face in the window.

She nodded slowly. "Yeah. We are all doomed to know when and how we die."

"How come we're cursed?"

I almost wanted to let out a laughter at the absurdity but it seemed inappropriate, so I settled for a different almost mocking tone of my voice.

"You know what they say, Cia," she said. "Bad things happen to bad people."

This was when I turned around to her.
What mother said didn't make real sense to me.

I wiped emotion off my face.

"I can't remember ever killing or hurting someone that badly to deserve to be cursed."

"You're not meant when I say bad people, dear. I mean truly bad people that lived on this island long, long before even I was born," she explained.

The explanation was far from enough.

"What bad did they do to deserve to be cursed?" The words scratched my throat open and I had to swallow.

The act of speaking hurt.

"Beyond your imagination. They were cruel, Cia. Hatred was everything these people ever felt." Mother didn't look down or up but still at me, her voice strong but heavy with worry.

"But what did they do?"

She glanced down at the bed and drove her hand over the drying sheet.

"It won't be me to tell you the whole story. There's someone else who will have an answer to all of your questions."

I looked away and out of the window into the lifeless forest.
I chuckled, not surprised with her answer.
I was not used to anything else.

"Do you mean Elijah?"

"How do you know about him?", she shot right back at me, voice urgent. Confusion stood out in her facial expression.

"I heard you and Neirin mention him that night," I said. "You two weren't exactly being quiet." For the first time since mother had come, I saw her struggling for words, not knowing what to say regarding that night. She averted her gaze, fumbling with the sleeves of her shirt.

I didn't know why but I didn't like seeing her in that state.

"I wish you wouldn't have found out this way," she spoke somberly.