I'll Be Your Family

Toph Alone

Toph was walking through town as she headed back to the Beifong estate. Normally, she would use tunnels to enter the estate unseen, but at the moment she couldn't be bothered to try.

She found someone like her. Sure, Zuko was gone, but for a little bit, she didn't have to hide who she was. She was able to show her strength without worrying about the consequences.

Have you ever tried showing them you're not helpless?

What he said kept bouncing back and forth in her mind. She looked toward the estate in the distance and wondered if she should sneak in like she usually did. It wouldn't be hard. Her parents never looked for her after dinner. They were usually busy with Beifong affairs and such.

I could just build my usual tunnel and go back to my room. They would never know. Everything would be back to normal.

Zuko's quiet voice played again in the back of her mind.

I've been trying for years to prove that I was worthy of his love. I tried everything to become useful to him, hoping that one day he would love me like he loves my sister.

Toph stopped as she felt the entrance to the estate, now only a few minutes away.

Will I end up like that? Will I have to keep trying over and over again to earn my parent's love? Will they ever stop looking at me like I'm helpless? Will they ever love me without me having to be fragile?

She remembered how devastated Zuko sounded when he said his father was wrong. Afterward, though, he seemed calmer. His heartbeat leveled out and some of the tension he carried with him melted away.

Why did he seem happier after he realized his father was lying to him? Was it really that freeing to admit that maybe his father, whatever Fire Nation noble he may be, wasn't such a good guy? Shouldn't he have been more depressed?

She started heading towards an alleyway so she could build one of her usual tunnels. Her mind wandered over the revelation Zuko seemed to have earlier. She started to wonder why she was focusing so much on it.

Maybe it's because he stopped lying to himself. Or at least started to try being honest with himself. Hopefully, this uncle of his can help him realize he isn't that weak. That way he can start rewriting all those lies his father told him about himself.

She froze as she was about to close the tunnel. The realization hit her like a boulder.

Just like the lies, my parents tell me. Zuko had been told he was weak over and over again by his father. After enough time he believed it. Will I start to believe I'm helpless too? Will my parents tell me lies about myself until I start to believe them?

She jumped out of the tunnel and stomped towards the front entrance of the estate, a newfound determination found in her footsteps. The only thought on her mind was that she couldn't end up like that. Her belief in her bending was everything. She always believed she could get through life because she was strong even if everyone else thought she was helpless. The thought that one day she might forget who she was was terrifying. She didn't know what she would do if that happened.

What if I start to believe I'm helpless?

She walked up to the 2 guards outside the gate and waited as one of them recognized her.

"Miss Beifong, what are you doing here? Why are you covered in dirt, are you hurt? Hey Chen, open the gate we gotta get her inside before her parents have our heads." He took her arm, light as a feather, and began to move towards the gate.

Once they were inside he let go of her arm and sent the other guard, Chen if Toph remembered correctly, to alert her parents.

She was silent while they waited, trying to control her anger as she listened to the chatter around the estate. The servants and other guards started gossiping about why she was outside of the estate and why she wasn't in her usual dress. Making theories that maybe she was kidnapped, looking at her like she had been forced to leave instead of going on her own. The guard to her left must have mistook her silence as her being traumatized, and started to try and comfort her.

"Don't worry Miss Beifong, you're safe now. Your parents will see to it that whatever you've been through doesn't happen again."

That was the last straw.

She stomped on the ground and shook the entire estate, listening as people began to panic, thinking it was an earthquake. The guard on her left fell as he looked up at her in fear.

"What is going on here? Where is my daughter, I heard she was outside the estate. Is she okay, her mother and I are worried sick."

Lao Beifong moved out to the front of the estate, trying to stabilize himself as the earthquake died down.

Toph recognized the moment he spotted her because his heart rate spiked and he started to head toward her. She took a deep breath and got ready to show him who she was. She stomped on the ground again, and the earthquake this time stopped her father in his tracks. He looked at her, heart beating like he was about to die, and said in a quiet voice, "...Toph?".

Toph took another breath and yelled at the top of her lungs, "I AM NOT HELPLESS! I AM THE BEST EARTHBENDER IN THE WORLD! I AM NOT BLIND, I CAN SEE JUST FINE! SO STOP TELLING ME THAT I'M HELPLESS! I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!" She stood still, out of breath as the entire estate was silent.

Her father came up to her slowly and placed a feather-light hand on her shoulder. He talked to her like he was trying to calm a child having a tantrum.

"It's okay Toph, I know that you are probably scared and confused after what's happened to you. Let's just go back inside so your mother can help clean you up. She was worried -"

"Why don't you get it? I'm not helpless! I can Earthbend better than anyone in Gaoling! I'm not made of glass!" Toph was starting to get pissed.

He just saw me create an actual earthquake. What else do I have to do?

"Toph that's enough! I know you're scared because of what you went through, but that's no excuse to put yourself in danger. Your fragile Toph, the Earthbending you did could have hurt you. Don't do it again. We will have a talk with Master Yu about what he's teaching you the next time we see him. Now come inside, we'll have the guards on alert for whoever did this to you." He replied sternly and grabbed her wrist gently to drag her back inside.

Toph felt her will vanish as she realized he would never see her.

I just did something 'Master' Yu wouldn't be able to do if he trained for the rest of his life. He doesn't see that I can fight on my own. He won't even grab my wrist tightly because he thinks I'll get hurt. Does he seriously think I was kidnapped?

She yanked her wrist from his grasp and watched as he tilted his head to look back at her. This was the first time he had looked at her without her fancy dress or makeup on. This was the first time he had seen her when she wasn't his 'helpless' daughter.

She looked at him and asked in a shaky breath, "Do you love me?"

She had asked the question once before when she was at a family dinner, and both her parents told her they loved her. They were honest and said how they loved her even if she was weak and blind. They truly loved their blind, helpless daughter.

Her dad seemed to be startled by the question, but grabbed her wrist again, dragging her further into the house as he looked away from her and answered, "Of course I do Toph. Now let's get you to your mother, it will help her calm down once she sees you're safe."

It was the truth, and that hurt her even more. He couldn't even look at her when he said it. He couldn't bring himself to look at her in the eyes and tell her he loved her. He couldn't look at her when she was dirty and confident and strong and tell her he loved her, he had to look away to say it.

Because if he said it while looking at me it would be a lie.

She felt the realization sink into her bones as he dragged her into the house where she was fussed over by her mother, who hugged her gently and told her everything would be fine.

She was silent as her father ordered a servant to hire more guards to ensure his daughter's safety. She was silent as the servants started to clean her up and told her they were putting her Blind Bandit clothes in a storage unit for 'safe keeping. She was silent as she felt them throw it in the trash a few rooms over. She was silent as her mother tucked her into bed and told her how much she loved her, gently rubbing the bruise on her head that her servants found while cleaning her.

She was silent as she cried herself to sleep.