Faith (Islamic Fic)

Chapter 67

~Iman's P.O.V~

  Going to work with only four hours of sleep is the worst idea ever. I can't even imagine how people pull all-nighters then go to school or work after words like nothing had happened.

  Drinking coffee wasn't an option for me as I hated its smell, let alone its taste but I've already drank two cups of tea and I still felt heavy headed. There was no replacement to some quality time sleeping.

  My sleepy mind drifted off to yesterday's events. Not seeing the babies but rather my fight with Mazen. I still couldn't believe he said what he said about me and Youssef.

  But come to think about it, he was right in a way. I was being injustice to him. I felt obligated to be with him and so I treated him badly. He did compromise more than once and I was thankful to him but was I really as bad as he said?

  Did I really never compromise? I felt like I did each time he would drag me to one of his family's events and leave me alone to talk to his friends. Each time he would come over and engage in a conversation with Ayman or Uncle Adam while I served food and tea then sat Yasmin leaving the men talk. Every time he would even mention the wedding and I would agree to whatever he wanted to even though the idea itself made my heart clutch.

  Wasn't that compromising?

  "Esra had me running around to bring her coffee from her favorite coffee place two streets down the road in this freezing weather." Tasha sat down next to me breaking my train of thoughts.

  "At least you got the mission done." I smiled politely at her.

  "Yeah," She shrugged then buried her eyes in her phone not giving me much attention.

  My mind started working again, making up thoughts in its own world.

  With all my negative feelings towards Mazen, I had so many unresolved feelings towards Zayn. I was more than confused when it came to him.

  Never had I even thought of him in any way other than a friend. He was easy to talk to, he gave amazing advices in many issues and he always knew how to make me feel strong and confident. I always felt empowered after talking to him.

  Something I never felt with Mazen who always needed me to rely on him. He never thought I was strong enough to do anything without him for that matter.

  Putting Mazen in front of Zayn, Zayn wins by miles but was that even love? I don't know.

   The first time I saw Zayn I thought I knew him well. His tattooed body, pierced face, ripped-tight jeans and his reputation all made me convinced I knew the man I was living next to. But after talking to him a few times my mind gradually changed.

  Not immediately of course, as he was a brick the first couple of times I met him. His cocky attitude and careless behaviors all made me convinced he was who he seemed to be but I don't know. He seemed to have changed quite a bit lately.

  He was more respectable, more humbled. He went to mosques instead of clubs and began to take charge of his life. He stopped smoking, I believe and started using that electronic smoke that had no nicotine in it.

  All of that made me admire him and respect him even more. The way he refused all temptation and talked to me asking for help, not afraid what his image might be, increased those feelings for him.

  That being said, I can't help but admit that he did make me smile in ways I never felt before. I even felt giddy a few times when he 'KIKed' me and when he came to 'Khayan' just to talk to me, I can't help but feel special. He had all the women in the word and yet here he was making effort for me.