Graffiti Hearts

11.

Luke gazed at Nick, his head slightly tilted. His eyes bore into Nick's as if the blonde was looking straight into Nick's soul. The raven felt uncomfortable by the thought. He hated being vulnerable as if everything he had was out there in the open. "What are you doing here?" Nick asked, wanting to stop Luke from probing into Nick's eyes.

"You woke me up. Plus, it's a bit concerning why you would even be out here in the first place." Luke stated, his voice soft. His piercing eyes finally glazed over Nick and spread to the ocean. "Now, what are you doing here, Nick?" The way he spoke it was more like an order than a question. Yet, concern intertwined with the intimidating tone.

"I just needed to clear my thoughts," Nick murmured, refusing to look at the blonde at all in embarrassment and awkwardness. He wanted to be alone. Solitude had always worked for him whenever his thoughts came to overflow out of the bottle they were kept tightly in. Then, if that was the case, why was he so grateful Luke was here?

"By going to the beach at this time of night?"

"Couldn't sleep."

Words were left unsaid, and the air too thick for them to break. The silence was overpowering, further heightening the awkwardness of their confrontation. Nick began fidgeting with his sleeve, unease clouding his mind. The way Luke was confronting him, it was as if Nick was a five year old that was caught. He disliked it very much.

"I'm sorry for waking you up." He finally looked at Luke, flashing a small apologetic smile. He hoped this attempt to cut the awkwardness would work.

"Eh, don't worry about it." Luke shrugged, sitting down on the sand. He patted the space next to him, beckoning for Nick to sit down. The raven plopped down next to him. Nick began building a small sand hill, trying to occupy himself with something and give his clammy hands from revealing their true emotions. Anything to not have to look at the blonde. "Talk to me, Nick."

Nick narrowed his eyes, side eyeing the blonde. "It's a bit personal," Nick spat, his voice sounding too defensive. He turned his attention back to the sand hill, then crushed it. In reality, he did want someone to confide in. But, that would mean revealing what he kept secret. He saw the blonde stand up, then put his hands in his pockets.

"I'll walk home then." Luke stretched his arms to the sky, then began stepping away to the direction of the house.

"No!" Nick grabbed Luke's wrist tightly. He didn't mean to, but he guessed his heart was pleading for help. Luke turned to face Nick, his expression softening. Nick bit his lip, retracting his hand back quickly, looking away. "Sorry. You can go if you want." He stared back down at the sand, his fists clenching.

The blonde sat back down in his original spot. A comforting presence dulled Nick's racing trains of thoughts. Nick drummed his fingers on his knee, unsure of what he wanted. There were too many paths to take, and only one he could choose to walk on. A hand reached for the restless hand. It held it still, then the thumb began rubbing Nick's hand in small circles. Nick gazed at Luke, genuinely surprised by such a tender action. "Talk to me, Nick. You don't have to tell me anything, but at least speak what you're feeling right now."

Nick searched in Luke's face for any signs of lying. Anything that said that he couldn't care less. When he found none, Nick sighed, his body relaxing into a state of prey. The moment when he genuinely felt open, revealing the inside of his cracking facade. "I just messed up badly. I'm feeling the consequences of my choices, even after years of doing them." His eyes began tearing up, his vision blurring. "I don't know what to do, Luke." He covered his face with his hands, his breaths choppy. He inhaled a deep breath, then exhaled. His eyes glazed over the dark ocean, its edges glistened with white from the foam.