I'm Not Him (Maddy Perez/You)

My Fault

100K reads on this book is crazy. so grateful, much love 🫶🏽❤️

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Maddy's P.O.V

What Lexi said stayed in my mind all night. I literally wasn't able to sleep because of it. Overall she was right.

I needed to make things right with Y/N. I can't continue to go on with living like this when it's evident that I still love her. And if her recent music is any indication then I still might have a chance.

She was actually on her way here now to drop off Riley. The first step in the process was getting rid of the dude that I've been talking to. Which I did as soon as I woke up this morning.

Second step is apologizing. I admit that I'm wrong. I'm acting like she cheated when she really didn't. Honestly, I'm acting worse than that.

And once again Lexi was right, I need to wake the fuck up and open my eyes. I don't want to lose Y/N forever.

I had on nothing but an oversized shirt, which was actually Y/N's, and some Nike socks. Which were actually hers as well.

Once I knew she was here I met her at the door. She said her goodbyes to Riley like always except this time Riley was having a fit. She didn't want Y/N to leave.

She's never done this before. I kind of feel a way that she doesn't want to be with me right now. Y/N picked her up getting her to calm down. After awhile Riley started going to sleep.

Y/N laid her on the couch before turning to leave. I stopped her quickly before she even reached the door.

"Can we talk?" I asked.

"What's up?"  She says. 

My mind suddenly went blank. Everything I planned on saying went out the window. I couldn't remember anything. "I, um, I wanted to apologize."

"For what?" She asked. 

"For how I've been treating you. I was wrong. I was even more wrong for treating and thinking that you did something wrong when you didn't. I really appreciate your honesty when it came to getting someone else pregnant. I appreciate your honesty all the time. I just had this vision of us being a perfect family but not everything can be perfect. And I understand that now."

"I love you so fucking much and I now know that I'd rather work out our issues than to start over with someone new. The person that I was messing with is no longer in the picture. All I want is you and all I will ever want is you. It took Lexi cursing me out for me to actually understand that." I respond.

She stood there with a shocked facial expression that slowly turned into a small smile. She walked up to me gave me a hug and kissed me on the forehead. "I'll see you later."

And then she disappeared out the door. What the hell is that supposed to mean? I apologize and confess my feelings and she just walks out the door.

This may be harder than I thought.

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Y/N's P.O.V

Yes I walked out and for good reason. Maddy has done this way too many times before. An apology isn't enough to just make up for how she acted.

She gotta work for it. She has to earn it. Because acting like I did something wrong is wild. Fucking with another person to try to get back at me for something I did while we weren't together is even crazier.

I never necessarily cared about the dude though. She was doing her thing and if I'm being honest, I was still messing with Lani.

I'm not gonna be a fool this time. Ain't no way I'm just gonna let her come back and act like everything is all good. Cause it definitely isn't.

Once again I was back in the studio. Except this time it was with my boys and A Boogie wit da Hoodie. He was featured on the song that we we're currently working on.

"Nah I don't like that. I'ma do the verse again. Then you can go right to A Boogie's verse." I say to Jaden.

See, love don't come around
So I suggest if you love them, you better hold 'em down
I met this bitch up in the East, but I'm from out of town
And it's fucked up how we first met, but that's my baby now
Yeah, that's my baby now

See, I'm just mindin' minе
I'm on that block, I'm sellin' coke, ain't got no nine-to-fivе
I'm posted up, my banger tucked when something caught my eye
I saw this bitch come down the stairs and asked her why she cryin'
And that's when she replied

"That nigga beat on me, just wanna cheat on me"
"He put his feet on me, I'm too raw, why he sleep on me?"
He playin', I'ma put some cheese on him
Oh, she want him gone
And I know he be havin' them ki's on him
Ayy, what dude be on?

I sat back in the chair as they worked on A Boogie's verse. I had multiple texts from Maddy asking why I just walked out like that. I kept my reply simple and straightforward.

Me- your words are meaningless unless your actions back them up

I hope she doesn't think that cause she apologized that I would just jump back in her arms. I wouldn't be surprised if she did. Maddy thinks everything is supposed to go her way or it's the end of the world.

I ain't all innocent either. Definitely not gonna act like I am. But I'm tired of us just apologizing without us actually fixing the problem. Her whole tit for tat mindset ain't gonna work with me.

On a brighter side, it's good to know how she feels. Because I'm tired of missing her so much. I'm also tired of Rue, Alexa, and Chloe. They swear they know how to fix relationships.

I'm still not sure why I accepted relationship advice from my cousin who's only ever dated Jules. We all know how that went. Also from two of my exes to fix something with my most recent ex.

It's a damn mess trying to comprehend why I did that. But I do appreciate their efforts. It shows they care.

But enough about that. I don't want to keep thinking about this. If Maddy can back up her words then we'll be able to work this out.

If not, I'll have to let her go.

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Gonna wrote something happy for y/n and maddy soon. them not being together is stressing me out

Not proofread

Until Next Time