killing time 𖥻 TOMMYINNIT

III. lemon girl

tommy sighed as iris's voicemail message came through his phone for the second time. the two rarely called each other, much preffering discord or texts, so usually when tommy called iris picked up.

he was worried about her. she had been quiet for the past few days. he put it down to her being busy; she had a big project for her music class coming up. over the past few years, especially after the pandemic started, they hadn't gone longer than 24 hours without at least one text from each other.

she got sad sometimes. a deep sadness that tommy didn't know how to fix. he'd catch her staring at the polaroids on her wall, fiddling uncertainly with her hands. tommy knew iris had some issues with how she saw herself, which was a massive contrast to how confident he appeared outwardly.

tommy really wanted her to be involved in his channel, as much as she was willing to be. his audience loved her, even with what little information they knew about her. she'd been really anxious for the first few months after tommy brought her on streams, and tommy had to take her phone off her multiple times.

he was worried she'd been feeling that way again, sleepless nights, self-esteem issues. he didn't like barging into her house when she felt like this, he felt like a nuisance. but as he walked the short distance to her place, he felt guilt gnawing at his gut. he thought maybe he'd caused this by asking her to meet his friends.

as he reached her front door, he felt a strange sense of awkwardness. did he knock? was her brother home? he hadn't knocked at any point over the last few years of their friendship. both of them were welcome with the others' family, and they tended to just come in. one time tommy had come back from filming in brighton and found iris there with his mum. he let himself in, and was greeted with lachlan at the kitchen bench, typing on his phone. he looked up briefly. "hey, tommy. she's just up in her room."

"is she okay?" tommy asked hesitantly, wanting to know how best to handle the situation. he felt so immensely guilty that lachy could probably smell it.

"i think she's just a bit down," lachy frowned. "didn't want to talk to me about it. maybe you'll have more luck?"

tommy nodded and went upstairs to iris's bedroom, knocking softly. when he opened the door, he found iris on her floor, a guitar beside her and a notebook in her lap. her cheeks were tear-stained, and she was still in her pyjamas. "hey," tommy came and sat down opposite her. she looked up at him, giving a small smile. "you alright? you haven't been answering."

she brushed a piece of hair behind her ear. "just been thinking a lot, sorry. didn't wanna worry you. figured you were probably busy."

it was a fair assumption. if he wasn't filming or streaming, he was either doing schoolwork or editing. "never too busy for you, you lemon."

"why am i a lemon?" iris let out a laugh, and tommy felt the weight on his shoulders lift slightly.

"dunno," he shrugged. "just are. lemon girl,"

she giggled softly, but then frowned, gaze directed at something behind tommy. he turned, knowing exactly the photo she was looking at. "you really need to take that down. he's a dick,"

"maybe," iris looked down at her lap. "i've just been thinking about it recently. writing, too,"

tommy bit his lip. "you can tell me, i promise i won't be upset with you. but did i make it worse? by asking you to meet people?"

iris considered it for a moment. "i think so, yeah. i still want to though. maybe just one or two? like ranboo and tubbo? and maybe i could do it over discord or something one day. if that okay?"

tommy scooted towards her and she closed her notebook. "more than okay. whatever you want. just cause this is what i do doesn't mean that you have to do it as well."

"can i play you something?" she asked after a moment. "it's not done, but i wanna hear your thoughts."

he nodded and she reached over to grab the guitar. flipping to the right page of her notebook before beginning to strum quietly, tommy frowned inwardly. he couldn't imagine not loving iris. all the boys who had broken her heart, he couldn't figure out why. because as he listened to her sing, her sorrows lifting out of her heart as she played, all tommy could focus on was how much he cared about her.

— AUTHOR'S NOTE
i was so productive today i'm so proud of myself