Deep Breaths (Garcello x Reader) [Slow Updates]

Part 18 - An Apology

Words can't express how incredibly glad you are that Annie is here right now. You're more than certain that if it were just you and Garcello, the awkward silence in the air would be so tangible that you might choke on it. But having Annie there to chatter while Garcello slowly goes through his fries is... easier.

"And then when I went to check it out, I just-- I just see a complete fireworks show!" Annie exclaims as she spreads out her arms dramatically. It's the middle of a conversation you can't quite follow, only tuning back in for a moment. "When I heard intense electric guitar noises, I didn't expect a crazy bomb! Who would, right?"

Garcello laughs against his fist and brings the straw of his drink to his lips, sipping quietly as Annie continues to ramble. Despite her volume and intensity of storytelling, you can't muster the attention span to listen to Annie's story, instead finding yourself glancing at Garcello every other moment.

It's not like you're trying to be rude or ignore Annie, it's just... so odd to see him this way. He's always been so put-together and even mysterious when you two hung out. But now you're here in his house, seeing his barely-tamed hair in all its bird-nest glory, a t-shirt that you can tell has never seen the light of the sun outside, and everything about him feels so natural, yet so unfamiliar.

As he brushes back his bangs and you catch glimpses of those tired eyes that you've barely seen before, you can't help but think that this is what you'd like to see more often. Just the messy, domestic, carefree side of Garcello that you rarely get to know. Not the Garcello that you worry about so often despite his laid-back attitude, not the man who seems to be teetering on the edge of life and death constantly-- the guy who lets his hair down and unwinds without poisonous smoke clogging his lungs.

You sigh through your nose and purse your lips, staring down at the table you're seated at. Why is it only now, when Garcello is sick and hurting, that you catch a glimpse of him like this? 

"--Hey, (Y/N)?"

You blink.

"Are you alright?" Annie repeats, and you realize that both she and Garcello are now staring at you with concern in their eyes. "You've been really quiet."

"Oh!" You feel embarrassment bubble in your stomach. "Yeah, I'm alright. Just spacing out."

"Ah, okay," Annie replies. You can vaguely tell that she's just a bit curious about what you were thinking about, but she says nothing more on the topic.

An uneasy silence falls over the three of you as Annie pops a fry into her mouth, pausing the conversation.

"...So," Garcello is the first to speak, not looking you in the eye, "Why'd you decide to swing by?"

"Oh, I-- um..." You fidget with your hands under the table. Heat floods your cheeks for a moment before you answer. "I was... worried about you. You've been avoiding me, I think, and then Annie said you were sick... and..."

Your voice dries out. The warmth lingering in your face makes you duck your head, avoiding the feeling of your friends' gazes on you. Faintly, you hear Garcello sigh, and then a beat of silence.

"Look, (Y/N), I'm sorry."

You automatically snap your head back up at Garcello's words, blinking.

"For what?" you ask.

Garcello rubs the back of his neck, an embarrassed pink coloring his cheeks.

"For avoiding you. That wasn't really right of me..." He sighs, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. "I just didn't really know how to... deal with anything after the karaoke night. It's complicated. My addiction, my health, mental state... I don't want you or anyone else to have to help me through all of this. You've already done so much for me, and it just..." He shakes his head, and you catch a glimpse of such a broken look in his eyes. "It's too much."

You feel a whirlwind of emotions strike through your chest. At the sight of Garcello in such a state, with all his guilt, all his worries... The unspoken sentiment hangs limply in the air: 'I don't want to be a burden.' 

All you can think to do is reach over the table and take his hand in your own. He jumps in surprise, then settles into a confused look.

"Garcello, you will never be a burden to me."

That seems to stun him into silence. He stares at you, utterly baffled.

"Believe it or not, I want to help." You find yourself unable to stop pouring out these words. But even if you could stop, you don't think you'd want to. "I care about you a lot, okay? And I want to be there to get you through all those tough times. So please, just... let me be there for you."

It's only a second later that you realize what you just did. Face suddenly the inside of a burning oven, you cough into your shoulder and slowly tug your hand away. Garcello does the same with a face just a bit redder than before.

"Sorry," you mumble sheepishly, "It's... not my decision to make. I just don't want you to feel like you're burdening me. I'm happy to help, you know?"

Garcello nods wordlessly, a soft smile fighting its way to his lips. A rush of relief spreads through your lungs at the sight.

"Thanks," he says, and the world suddenly seems just a bit less horrible, "I'll keep that in mind."

Annie looks between the two of you with a fanged smile, practically shining.

"There! That wasn't so hard, now, was it?" she laughs with an almost knowing grin, "And you were freaking out about telling them, Garcello!"

You blink, looking at Garcello for an inkling of what Annie means. But he only glares at Annie with a playful, yet genuinely embarrassed glare. The red of his face seems to amuse her, as she only snickers, patting him on the back. 

This is nice, you quickly realize as you lean against the back of your chair, watching Garcello and Annie fall into easy conversation. Maybe everything's back to normal. Just us being friends again.

Then you glance at Garcello, the dimples on his cheeks, the crinkle at the corner of his eye as he laughs at Annie's jokes... and you can only suppress a sigh. You guess it's not perfectly back to normal. You still got that stupid crush to deal with.

You glance down at your hands, rubbing the base of your thumb. When you and Garcello held hands... was his face flushed from embarrassment, discomfort, or from something else...?

Oh! Speaking of hands!

"Hey, Gar?" 

Garcello looks over at you once you call, a glint of curiosity in his eyes as he watches you dig through your bag. It takes a moment to find, but after a bit of rummaging around, you pull out what you were looking for.

"Ashlyn lent me this nail polish a while ago!" you say as you proudly present the small bottle filled with black. Annie gasps delightedly at the sight. You smile and slide it over the table, continuing, "I've heard nail polish helps with nail-biting and anything like that. Since it probably tastes gross, you naturally don't want to bite your nails as much, you know? Or you can just bite off the bits of paint instead of hurting your nails."

"Oh," Garcello says plainly as he takes the nail polish in his hand, studying it for a moment. He looks genuinely surprised and warmed by the gift. "I... thank you."

"Sick!" Annie comments, "And good color choice. Come on, Garcello, I'll do your nails for you!"

He chuckles at his friend's enthusiasm. Annie then turns to you, an eager look on her face.

"You too, (Y/N)," she says, inviting you over to the other end of the table with a wave of her hand. "And then you guys can do my nails, so we can all match."

A bright smile graces your face as you head over, glad for the lighthearted conclusion of the day.

~~~

(A/N)

HDKJSHDKJSHDKJS life is kicking my butt right now. I got one of my wisdom teeth removed and had to miss a week of schoolwork, and now I gotta do extra, and this and that and yeah.

Anyway! I tried! And all you Garcello black-nail truthers have been given your wishes (tbh Gar with black nails is genuinely such a look /pos)

Hope you guys enjoyed this one! (And yes Annie knows full well of Garcello's feelings for Y/N and their feelings for Garcello. She's a good friend tho so she won't spill for now)