Legend of the Swords

4: Erilyn

I wandered back to my room thinking about the type of clothes Dimitri would make for the children. How warm would they be? Would they be light colored? Surely not since that would show the dirt. But then again, I didn't know what kind of clothing Dimitri's mother made. And then there was Princess Marie. What would she do now that Dimitri was preoccupied with work for me? She obviously favored him. Enough to pull him from his duties and to keep him caged.

I pitied Princess Marie and her lust for Dimitri. I had never loved someone, or vied for someone else's affection. In my field, anything could be used against you and I was way too busy taking care of the kids to explore other avenues. Plus the lives of all the men I killed for treating women as objects for their own pleasure and amusement happened to provide a constant reminder that happy endings weren't always what they seemed. I wondered if Dimitri would be able to feel affection for anyone while stuck in the palace when his passions were elsewhere. Maybe there was some commonality between our emotions toward being stuck in this place. Maybe that's why it was so easy for us to converse.

I made it back surprisingly without getting lost. The luxury of it all astounded me once again, and I had to blink five times before I believed that it was mine and I wasn't dreaming. I stood there, back to the door in awe of it all for some time, just looking it all over and contemplating how all of this could be necessary. This was the reward you received for being in a royal bloodline, regardless of your legitimate service to the country and for some reason that angered me. There were so many people living in squalor with the weight of the kingdom on their shoulders as they try to build up the community around them, and royals lived in luxury looking down on them without understanding the scope and complexity of the kingdom they ruled. How did that make sense? Where was the system to check such greed and selfishness? 

I briskly walked to the terrace doors, hoping to escape the nauseating sensation filling me as I continued to feel frustrated with the circumstances. As I swung them wide the crisp, clear air rushed me and I sighed in relief as I wandered to the railing. From it I could see the kingdom's building tops, the aqueducts in the distance, and the wall that surrounded our kingdom for protection. I must have stood there for over an hour, staring at the scenery. I was so caught up in my thoughts and worries of the children that I didn't even notice Dimitri joining me until he was right beside me.

"Breathtaking isn't it?" He asked as he too became captivated by the view. "I used to walk that wall every night with my fellow soldiers. And every night we would meet over there," he pointed to an area of the wall to the south end, "and play card games and be merry when we were on break." He laughed as he remembered it all, and his eyes lit up as he laughed.

"Dimitri, I'm sorry that you were pulled from your men, from your duty." I whispered, hoping he would understand the sincerity in my voice.

"Yeah, I know why. Marie isn't it? She was the one who pulled me out." I wasn't surprised he had figured it out by now, and the sad look in his eyes made something in my chest ache. "I feign ignorance so that everyone doesn't pity me. The general pulled from duty to be a play thing for the princess." He laughed sarcastically, shaking his head and looking down at his locked hands. We stood in silence for a pretty long time before I broke the silence, my jittery hatred for awkward silences getting the best of me.

"Were you able to find some suitable clothing for the children?" I asked, moving a little closer to him. While I still was unsure of the mutual comradery we seemed to share, I put a hand on his shoulder, a gesture of the support I felt he may need. He looked down for a second to where my hand rested on his shoulder, then back up at me.

"Yes, but not without Marie's interruption." He chuckled, shaking his head again. "That girl just doesn't know when to give up."

"Do you ever think of giving in? I mean, that would put you in line to lead this country, not just serve it." Dimitri looked up to me with curiosity, then out at the scenery as he contemplated his response. I waited for him to gather his words, feeling him relax as he pieced it together.