Call Declined

Chapter Five: Why Am I Still Trying?

↜[Sasuke]↝

It's Sunday, the next day after my want to kill myself spiked higher than usual. I've been in bed all day, my mind running wild and never shutting the fuck up. I played out over 20 scenarios on how to approach Naruto when the time needed to come. Which will, unfortunately, be tomorrow.

I've hid in this room all day, and I plan to keep it that way. I've heard Naruto walking around, talking to his parents, and even playing video games. I thought about setting up my PS4 since I brought it so we could play together. But there's no point since I only use it to play with Naruto.

Which isn't happening any time soon.

Should I just go home? I've been thinking about Shisui's words, and yeah, I didn't give him space, but I didn't really have the time frame either. Well, I didn't think that he'd reject me, so I have no idea what I'm doing. The joke excuse didn't work. However, I'm going to keep saying that's what happened, and I'm taking it to my grave.

Even after all that's happened, I'm still in love with him. It's the dumb hopeless romantic in me that can't accept that this relationship is some unrequited love. I can't give up now that I'm already here. Right? That's the only thought getting me through this train wreck.

Hell, I can't even face him after yesterday. Ugh!! I probably slept at most three hours before I woke up, and I was just thinking. About everything. What if he tries to out me? His parents could kick me out. My parents would hate me. I thought of all the possibilities, and they all ended up with me living with Shisui.

I wouldn't mind that, but I would mind all my years of studying being wasted all because of my kind of being gay? It's still weird to admit to myself. Accepting this part of myself has been hard for me. I'm still getting used to it. Labels and specifications. I just like Naruto. That's as far as it goes.

What am I going to do tomorrow? It'll be my first day at his school.

Dreamed of this moment to talk to him and hang out with him. And... Do other things too that I know will probably never happen. At this point, I'd just do anything to get him to talk to me again.

*Buzz*

Notification from: Karin Uzumaki

Karin Uzumaki

Karin
WOULD YOU CALL ME BACK ALREADY?!
HELLO!

I sighed. I've kind of ignored her partly because I've been bedridden and partly because I'm lazy. But I should catch her up.