✿ "Your everything i've ever needed, my sweet girl." I groan, nestling my face into her neck, feeling her relax and her body heat up.
"You mean that?" She asks, unsure of my statement, I lift my head to see her gorgeous blushing baby face.
"I would...
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Today I found out that Liana threw out the eggs we had in the fridge, because they were expired she said.
For some reason i'm still lividly angry at her, I had a dream about making cupcakes last night, I've been thinking about it all day and when I read the instructions just now, I had been so excited because I thought we had eggs.
We didn't, so I checked and my heart sunk through the floor to the core of the world.
It's like my everything crumbled, like all the good in the world had ceased to exist because I couldn't make cupcakes today.
For some reason I feel like everything this week had just been terrible, and every minor inconvenience floods throughout my head thoroughly. How that lady gave me a mean look that one time, when I dropped a couple files on the floor and had to rearrange them all, when the train took an extra hour and since I was already in it, and it was packed, I was forced to be an hour late to work.
I want to cry. I feel so mad that I just wanna be sad and cry and get on with it, but this anger is sticking to my body like a leech and I can't find where it's sticking too, so I cant get it off.
I just feel so helpless, and partly dramatic, and wholly upset.
I just wanna be at peace, no more angry negative feelings inside my body anymore, I just want to be happy and not so upset right now.
How do I get rid of the anger in me right now? I just want a hug and for someone to tell me that I can punch them, even though that's mean and I won't actually do it.
Todays Saturday and for some reason this is the worst weekend ever.
Huffing, I take a second to try and take deep slow breaths, trying to calm my beating heart that sounds like i'm running a marathon.
It doesn't work.
I groan out loud, walking over to my room, little stomps shaking the floor, spotting my baby squish mellows I snatch one big soft one from their rightful place and instead squeeze the life out of them.
Sitting on my bed, squeeze hugging my squish mellow, I think. Why am I really angry?
I mean, it could be because I was really excited about doing that project Mr. Ravens said I was almost ready for, but then he said I don't have to worry about it and that he can do it. I insisted the whole day that I was fully capable to do it, I wanted to do it but he wouldn't budge. That was no fun, I hate when I'm left with nothing to do, nothing to prove my worthiness of being wherever I am.
I miss him, ugh, no I don't. Why would I miss my boss? Daddy sure as heck never seemed to miss his boss or his work life whenever he was home, which wasn't much but still.
I do however miss my boss though, I will admit. His presence is so calming, this whole first week i've been so at ease, he takes care of a lot for me even though sometimes it does make me upset, like now, but he's really understanding and maybe on Monday I could explain to him why I want to do the work and why I don't need all his help.
