Love is Chaos Part 2 of A Light in the Dark (Severus Snape x OC)

Chapter 4: Nothing but a Coward

NOTE: It's been a while since I've updated this story. Life got in the way and I lost inspiration. For some reason, this chapter was hard to write, but I'm hoping the next installment will come out faster. Thanks for sticking with me. :) 

TW: Sexual Assault. 

"What do you want to tell me, Sev?" Laura asked.

"I...," Severus hesitated. He stared at her, a lump in his throat. Laura looked frail, tired, fragile. Was this the right time to tell her he knew this about her? Did she have any idea what her father did? Was there some nagging feeling in the back of her mind, of how evil and cruel her father was? Was there ever a sense of dread filling her mind whenever she was near her father? Her body's way of telling her that it remembers?

The body always remembers its trauma, even if the mind tries to shield itself, the body will always remember.

"Don't be a coward, Severus," he thought. "You have to tell her. Tell her what you saw. She can handle this."

"I think we should get married in December," Severus blurted out. Laura narrowed her eyes, forming them into slits. "What? That's what you wanted to tell me?"

"Nice going, dumbass. So much for not being a coward." Severus thought, rolling his eyes at himself. "I'm nothing but a coward."

Severus watched Laura stare at him, a confused look on her face. He knew what she was thinking: there's something more than what he's saying.

But Severus knew he wasn't ready to admit what he had seen. He had been determined to tell her, to tell her the truth, but his fear got in the way, stopping him like a thousand-foot-high brick wall.

Nothing but a coward.

"You do realize that's less than two months away, right?" Laura asked slowly, staring at him, surprised that he had brought up marriage with everything going on.

"I know," he said. "But there's a war coming, Laura. And I'd like to be your husband for as long as I can be."

Laura's gaze remained locked on him, a soft worry filling her eyes over his words. "For as long as you can be? Are you trying to tell me you're expecting to die or something?"

"Die? Yes," Severus thought. "Or you'll leave me when you find out I'm the one who's going to kill Dumbledore."

"No," Severus lied. "I just don't want to wait anymore."

"You know there's a lot to do in two months, don't you?" she asked.

"Yes," he told her. "But we'll get it done." He gave Laura a small smile, trying not to think about how in a few months, their entire relationship could go up in flames. How it could burn to the ground before it could truly flourish, all to remain would be a pile of ash.

A pile of lost potential. A pile of lost potential created by lies and deceit.

Severus tried to shake the thought from his mind, focusing on Laura. "But enough of that for now," Severus told her. "I think you need a nice meal and a hot bath. How does that sound?"

Severus expected her to argue, to dig her heels in, not liking the idea of being helped. "That sounds nice," she said softly, making Severus pause for a moment. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Laura asked.

"I just expected you to tell me no," he said. "You don't like accepting help."

"I guess that means I must be really tired, then," Laura said with a small smile, trying to lighten the mood.