Chapter 55

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Dave (the cool ice cream employee) never gets out of prison if you don't drink water, eat food, and get 5+ hours of sleep today.

(I would like you to know that everytime I have a spot where Y/n could 'die' I think about just ending the story there, and then just disappearing wouldn't that be fun! 😁)


I honestly don't know which is a better idea, teleporting away and dying later, or staying here and possibly dying now.

But seeing how Feitan, the man who is feared by murderers even with a no fighting rule, told me not to, I'll assume that's the best idea. Plus he's kinda hot, just remove 'kinda'.

Maybe going on a date with banana wasn't a good idea, but it did make people annoyed, which was kind of the goal. Again, why do I do this to myself?

I wonder if Gon's okay though. Probably not, but oh well.

My future murderers showed up not much later, meaning that they were in a hurry, so I was definitely going to die.

First my parents betray me, leaving me to be killed, then my best friend helps the murderers? Everyone I love has betrayed me, this is the end- I'll stop being over dramatic now.

"You've stayed here~ good~" Hisoka said. That may have decreased my chance of dying by 1%. Yay.

"Would you like to explain why you went on a date with someone else." Illumi asked, though it wasn't really a question.

"Not really, thanks for asking." I replied. Gotta get the chance of dying back up to 100% y'know, 99% just isn't enough.

"Don't do again." Feitan commanded. Haha, he's terrifying. Please don't kill my family- wait that's M/n, actually please kill my family.

"I allowed Illumi and Feitan~ if you start going on dates with random people however~ we'll have a problem~" Hisoka stated. Is it to late to just teleport out if here?

"Yes" Jinx, my lord and savior, has spoken, even if I don't like the response. Oof.

"Understand?~"

Everyone was clearly waiting for a response, let's see if I can respond without increasing my chance of dying!

"Why though."

Mission failed.

"You like to make things difficult." Illumi sighed, stepping closer to me.

"Don't date other men. They'll all die. Understand?" Illumi said, now right in front of me. Okay but what about women?

Feitan mumbled something, though I couldn't actually hear what he said. I wasn't given to much time to think about it before Illumi brought my attention back to him.

"Respond." He ordered. Oh, would you look at that! 101% chance of dying!

"..."

102%

"..."

103%

"..."

104%

"..."

105%

"..."

God I hate myself.

It's kinda go big or go home now... Every time I say that I end up regretting it. Oh well. What's the worst that can happen?

Ah shit, I just jinxed it. Wait- I'm sorry my lord, I should not use your name in vain.

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