The Heart That's Meant to Love You

Chapter 38: Responsibility

"Ki-Ki!" Tawny came flying out the door of Kieran's apartment as soon as he reached for the door handle.

Kieran caught her because not doing so would have sent him staggering backward. Tawny's dramatics hadn't changed since high school. Kieran didn't know what had happened while he had been away, but he didn't have to know. Tawny would tell him with the smallest provocation.

"What's wrong?" Kieran regretted asking before the words left his lips. Tawny had a way of blowing things out of proportion.

"I thought you were never coming back!" Tawny's arms wrapped tighter around Kieran's torso. "I was so scared."

"Why would you think that?" Kieran carefully extracted her arms from around him.

This wasn't the kind of conversation you had in the hall. Too many people could hear too easily. Not that the soundproofing in his apartment was any better. But at least he felt more secure about it.

At Kieran's prodding, Tawny moved backward. Back into the apartment. One step at a time.

"I had this dream," Tawny confessed. "That you left me for another woman. I was all alone on the street, and then Patrick came after me and..." A tear escaped each of Tawny's eyes, running in tandem down her cheeks. "When I woke up my back was hurting. Like it does before bad things happen."

A twinge of guilt plucked at Kieran's sense of responsibility. He had, in fact, been neglecting Tawny these days. He had forgotten the reason he kept her around to begin with. Had forgotten his duty to her; a responsibility that took precedence above everything else. Above his own fleeting emotions, for sure.

Kieran wiped away the tears on Tawny's cheeks. "Is it still hurting?"

Tawny nodded, a small sob catching on her lips.

"Let's put some medicine on it." Kieran nudged Tawny toward the bed, where it would be the most convenient to medicate her back.

While Kieran searched around for Tawny's medicine, Tawny pulled her shirt over her head and clutched it to her chest instead.

Kieran, when he returned, winced at the sight. He always winced. Who wouldn't, when the angry, rippled scar had been his fault? It marred Tawny still, starting at her shoulder, traveling across her spine, and ending at the opposite hip. Even with multiple surgeries, it had barely dulled in the past years.

Kieran settled behind Tawny, unscrewing the medicinal cream as he went. Certain things still caused Tawny pain. High humidity. Too much sun exposure. Nightmares.

Kieran shouldn't propogate an atmosphere that lent itself to any of those things, but lately he had been pushing his boundaries. He knew it. Tawny knew it. Kieran shouldn't try for things he couldn't have. He should stick to his own little world. The most he could hope for was to provide for Tawny for the rest of her life. That's the least he could do to repay the debt.

"Are you going to leave me alone like in my dream?" Tawny asked, quiet and small.

Kieran blew out a breath as his fingers brushed over the scar on her back. "I said I'd take care of you."

"It was a promise, right?"

"I said I would," Kieran repeated. This wasn't the time, place, or occasion for grand gestures or confessions of love that no longer existed.

Tawny craned her neck to see him over her shoulder. "You'll be with me forever and ever, taking care of me. You promised."

At the time of the promise, Kieran had been an emotional wreck over what happened. As time went on, he had realized that he couldn't go back on his word. Tawny had failed so many relationships after the incident. All of the reasons revolved around one fact. Tawny's scar.

That was when Tawny started to cling to Kieran. Because after so many heartbreaks, Kieran was still the only one who understood. So many other things were Kieran's fault when it came to Tawny. He should at least give her this one thing she longed for.

But, as it turned out, it was never as easy as it sounded.

Kieran had been fully prepared to put aside his feelings. To learn to live with Tawny for the rest of his life. They could go on as they had been. Despite the debts, they always managed to survive.

Kieran had never counted on the Little Rich Girl waltzing into his life and making him question things he had never questioned before. Kieran lived in a jaded world that Naomi never seemed to understand. She had reminded him that innocence still existed, somewhere. She had clawed her way inside his head with her surprising vulnerability. Her fragility, even when she thought she was being brave.

Naomi had taught Kieran that he wasn't the only one with problems. And then, somewhere along the line, she might have dug her kitten's claws into a small piece of his heart.

Only now did Kieran realize it. Because responsibility had come knocking again. Because now he remembered that he had never been meant to stay with Naomi. They could never be together. This love he thought he felt needed to be put aside so he could focus on his true priorities.

One way or another, Kieran had to let her go.

It shouldn't hurt him. They had never been anything official. Kieran flirted with a lot of girls. Naomi had only been a momentary fling. A weakness.

But none of the excuses made him feel any less sick when he thought about never seeing her again.

"You promised, remember?" Tawny's prompt dragged Kieran out of his own thoughts. "You'll stay with me forever."

"I know." Kieran's fingers moved to medicate another area of the scar. "I heard you."

"Don't forget it, then." Tawny bent her head, sighing when the medicine began to work. "Don't you ever forget it."

Just like that, Kieran's fate was sealed. Of course he wouldn't forget it. He couldn't. Aspiring for more would always be useless.