How Wonderful Life Is

chapter five- TRUE LOVE... OR NOT

last chapter for a while now, I gotta actually start writing this thing :P

Tears pricked Grace's eyes as she mounted her black bike. It was basically the one thing she owned that wasn't stolen. Just seeing her family again had almost broken her- it had brought out a side of her that she'd worked for two years to cage in.

She'd grown cold after waking up in that clearing. The only thing keeping her human was Cas, ironically enough. He kept her from the ragged edge she'd almost jumped.

The thought of him brought a minuscule smile to her face, just the corners of her mouth quirking up. It would be good to see him, especially after this hunt. She sped away from the old church, wanting to leave her old life far behind.

The dull ache in her chest she'd almost forgotten stirred, opened its jaws and howled. Grace felt twin tears slide down her face underneath her black helmet. One for each brother she left behind.

She knew that her father would track her. He was a Winchester after all, so when he's told to fuck off, he stays as close to as possible. She knew that her trail would be hard one to track. For one, he didn't know how she'd be traveling. There were multiple ways, each with their own method of tracking. Another reason was that her bike left no tracks on the asphalt. She'd purposely tweaked the tires so they left no mark.

Grace couldn't help but smirk at the thought of the look on John's face when he saw an open road without a trace stretching out into eternity on either side.

By the time she reached the seedy motel she'd been staying in, her face had dried completely. Just to be safe, she checked her reflection in her helmet, hoping that she didn't have a red face or puffy eyes. When Grace was satisfied that all signs of weakness were gone, she climbed the stairs to her room. Unlocking it, she swung it open slowly, not wanting to see what it revealed.

The room was filthy. This was probably the worst room she'd ever stayed in, and that was saying something. The ugly wallpaper was rotten and peeling away, excreting a nasty musk that got worse when it rained, the carpet now brown when it was probably once white, and she wouldn't even try to describe the state of the bathroom. Or the sheets.

Grace closed her eyes and sighed "Please, Cas I need you." Instantly he appeared with the soft sound of his invisible wings rustling.

As soon as she saw him, the tension in her whole body lessened. He was in his usual trench coat and suit, and that adorable stubble was still there, but it was his eyes Grace loved the most. The most electrical blue she'd ever seen. When she got closer, Grace could see the sky blue swirls in those deep pools. With a sigh, she sank into his outstretched arms. "It's so good to see you." she mumbled into his collarbone.

"What happened?" he asked, picking up on her weary tone "I thought you said it was just a normal hunt." His obvious concern melted her cold, hard heart.

It still surprised her - how they'd got here in this 'relationship'. When she'd... when she'd woken up and realized the truth, she'd been a mess, and annoying Castiel the angel was there to get Grace back on her feet. They'd saved each other's butts over and over and spent every waking moment together, so they'd quickly grown close.

It had happened slowly, her feelings for him. It was confusing most of the time because he acted like a robot for one second, then a sensitive guy in the next, and when Grace had confirmed her feelings with herself, she'd fallen more in love with him with every passing day.

When he revealed his 'big secret' Grace had been on her death bed. They'd been on a hunt and she'd taken a fatal hit to protect the monster's victim.

Usually, Cas could heal her just like that using his Angel Grace, but later he'd told her that she was already too far gone.

She was lying in the wet grass, her breathing wet and ragged when he'd leaned in and whispered in her ear "You can't leave me. I realize now what this human emotion is. I love you, Annabeth Grace Winchester, so you cannot die on me now."

Grace's shock had been as refreshing as a cold bucket of water to the face. He loved her. Castiel, who hardly felt anything at all, loved her, and she was not gonna die now that she knew. She forced herself to survive, and they'd been 'together' ever since.

Grace snapped out of her reverie, remembering he'd asked her a question. "It was a vamp, easy to take out, but then..." she trailed off, lost in her memories. Cas waited patiently for her to come back. He was used to it by now. "I saw my family." She rushed out. Grace looked up to his his reaction. His eyebrows rose about an inch, eyes slightly widened.

"Just your brothers, or..."

"My dad. He was there too." Cas' eyes grew cold and his lips pressed together in a tight frown. She felt his arms tighten around her. "Ouch! Careful with that super angel strength!" Grace yelped. Instantly, the pressure lessened. He looked down at her guiltily.

"Did you try to kill him?" He asked, eying her carefully. Damn, he was like a dog after a bone!

"Not at first. I mostly just yelled at him a ton; he was so pathetic - wouldn't even look me in the eye. But then I accidentally blurted that I was hunting Azazel and he had the audacity to ask me to tell him all in info I had about him. Then I just snapped - my vision went red and I... I lost control." Cas' eyes widened. "I would've killed him if Sam and Dean hadn't tried to stop me." She looked off, remembering their fight. "It was so weird, sparring with them again. We've both grown so much. Dean still needs to guard his left side better, and Sam should know that he's too tall to try stealth mode. God, he must be 6' 8''!" She exclaimed quietly to herself. He wasn't her tiny, baby brother anymore. "I probably said something about fighting to them, now that I think about it."

Cas pulled Grace into another tight embrace. He said nothing. No words could fill the void that threatened to consume her.

After a time, they separated and perched on the bed, thighs pressed together, barely a sigh between them. "They're probably tracking me. I threw them off for now, but if I know my dad at all, nothing will stop him from finding Azazel." She kept her eyes glued to the carpet; even talking about her father made her eyes sting. Grace felt Cas' crystal gaze on her, she could easily imagine the knowing look he was currently giving her. But as soon as their eyes met, he looked away.

Grace couldn't tear her eyes away. He was definitely the strangest man she'd ever met, and also the most handsome.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked softly.

"Don't you know why? Haven't you guessed it?" she replied, incredulous. His eyes remained downcast. "Hey, I love you with everything I am, with everything I have." She took his hand, entwining their fingers. "You see? A perfect match." It was true: there was no space left between their fingers. "I thought angels were supposed to be all-knowing." Grace murmured quietly, disappointed by his lack of response or emotion. Still, he said nothing.

Anger boiled in her veins, constricting her throat with the sheer power of it. She clenched her free hand into tight fist, wanting to punch something. What can she say?

She had her father's temper.

"I can't believe you!" Grace exploded, releasing his hand and storming towards the hotel door.

"I do not understand. What's wrong?" He asked woodenly. Her fists clenched again, knuckles white.

"One second, I can pretend that you're human- that you can feel human emotions. Feel them for me. But then you turn back into the 'higher being' that looks down upon me like I'm defected." She spat, hurt and anger coloring her words, twisting them into something ugly and cruel. "Make up your mind, Castiel." He winced when Grace said his full name; he knew she was royally pissed now. "Are you a human that cares? Or an angel that only observes?" Without waiting for an answer- because she already knew what it would be: rejection - she left, slamming the door behind her so hard, she heard the frame creak.

see you guys soon! (comment/vote if you like!)

~Blackbird