Sinner [Suoh Mikoto]

➳ Envy

❝I know what the object
of your sighs is;
I know the cause
of your sweet 
secret distress.

(...) I know why you smile 
and weep at the same time.❞ 

          It had been almost two weeks since I had left HOMRA, and I was still wondering if I had done the right thing or not. Sighing, I pulled out the list I was carrying and crossed off "Puzzle - 20 000 pieces minimum". All that was left was to buy some green tea. 

          It was my first time out of Scepter 4, and I was a little nervous. Part of me was hoping to see Mikoto, even if it was only from afar, while the other part was hoping not to run into him. I was afraid he would be angry with me or think I had betrayed him.

          The sound of a skateboard made me turn around worriedly. Relief coursed through me when I saw it wasn't Yata, and I cursed Munakata and his damn shopping list. I wasn't ready, not yet.

          «Are you sure you don't want to join Scepter 4? It's better than remaining loyal to a dead king»

          Those words lingered in my mind. Until the Blue King said that, I hadn't stopped to think about whether what I was doing was effective or a complete waste of time. I had partially agreed to leave Scepter 4 for that very reason. If I was lucky and saw Mikoto, I could check on him. A simple glance without him seeing me would be more than enough.

          Before I knew it, my feet had made their way to the entrance of HOMRA. Leaving Scepter 4 had definitely been a bad idea. I turned around and started to walk away before anyone saw me.

          “Come on, Mikoto. Why don't you go look for her?" I hid when I heard Izumo's voice. Wasn't Mikoto supposed to be sleeping at the bar and not out for a walk?

          “It's better this way.” What the hell is better this way, you idiot? I miss you!

          Aware not to make any noise, I poked my head out from behind the dumpster that was hiding me. Since I was there, I could at least take the chance to take a peek. As handsome as ever, Mikoto was heading towards HOMRA with Anna and Izumo at his side. Unconsciously, I began to follow them at a safe distance, like a moth attracted by the beauty of flames.

          “Are you sure it's better this way? You used to smile more often,” Izumo questioned.

          Once again, that pressure in my chest. Did Mikoto miss me?

          “She's better off with Scepter 4.” And back to the grim reality. I was gone, and Mikoto seemed hurt.

          “But Mikoto,” Anna called, “Fushimi was lying. She hasn't joined them.”

          When I heard that, I stumbled, so I missed Mikoto's answer. Damn Fushimi! 

          Anna was the first to stop when she heard me, giving me a sad smile, as did Izumo. Mikoto, however, gave me a stern look.

          “H-Hi,” I said, blushing. What was it with the invisible things tripping me up at the wrong times?

          Mikoto frowned as he seemed to scan me. I figured I probably didn't look too nice with the bags under my eyes and my hair pulled back anyhow. I wanted to say something else but couldn't think of what. In the end, it was Mikoto who broke the awkward silence.

          “Is that what you’re doing now? Puzzles with Munakata?” he asked coldly, pointing to the puzzle that had fallen to the ground. 

          Before I could say anything, Mikoto turned away from me and walked into HOMRA with a slam of the door. Stunned, I stood there just staring at the door. What had just happened?

          Izumo shrugged and Anna shyly approached me, seeking my attention. 

          “You still have the same red,” she whispered, offering me one of her marbles.

          I didn't understand the meaning of her words, but I accepted the marble and stared at it while she and Izumo followed Mikoto. How I wished I could have gone with them and pretended nothing had happened.

Seventh sin: envy.