Zodiac Signs etc.

What Each Sign Needs.

Aries: A war machine and a dildo

Taurus: More food. Like seriously. Order a fukin pizza.

Gemini: Someone who will actually listen to their blabbering.

Cancer: A loyal friend who they can pour their heart out to.

Leo: A support group for Uptown Funk taking over their lives

Virgo: A room filled with symmetry.

Libra: More friends *hook em up*

Scorpio: A knife and a convenient dark alley.

Sagittarius: A book on how to actually be cool not an adorable dork.

Capricorn: A textbook on basic social skills.

Aquarius: Lots and lots of pencils for their creative needs. They break too many raging.

Pisces: Hugs.