Baby's On Fire // Joonas Porko

9. Live Forever

Hanna was stumbling around her flat with an unfinished whiskey bottle. Linda had another date night, and Hanna hated her life at the minute, so she didn't have anyone to complain to. It's been a week and she hasn't heard from Joonas. All she knew came from Linda, who told her that he was as sulky as Hanna. Both of them were miserable, but none of them wanted to take the first step.

Hanna was tired of this pregnancy, she was tired of her work and she was tired of wondering if she has fucked up everything with Joonas. It was what she wanted in the first place, she wanted for him to hate her and forget her, but after understanding that he was one of the rare good things in her life, she regretted her words. All she wanted was to have Joonas next to her, making her laugh, till her cheeks hurt and telling her that everything is fine and he is by her side. She wanted to be in his arms, she wanted to play with his soft curls and kiss his stupid face, but she had no one to blame but herself for driving him away.

Hanna was starting to feel alone, so she got dressed and walked to the closet pub. She was quite intoxicated already, but that didn't stop her from drinking more and after a while, she made some new friends. It was a group of university students who were celebrating a friend's birthday. Even though Hanna herself was fresh out of university, being around kids who just had turned 20 felt a bit out of place. But she didn't let that ruin her night and she joined the group on their small pub crawl.

Normally this wasn't Hanna. Hanna liked to be safe, she liked to know where she was going and how long she would be there, but tonight she wasn't Hanna that her friends and family knew. Tonight she was Hanna, barely out of university, living her best life drinking and dancing with random people in pubs. Until she wasn't having fun anymore.

Hanna looked around and understood that she had no clue where she was, the pub was unfamiliar, the crowd around her had changed and she was starting to panic. She got her coat and bag and walked out of the pub. Even after living in Helsinki for almost 5 years, she still hasn't figured out the city. The panic was getting off the roof, so Hanna looked for her phone and tried to call Linda. But of course, she didn't pick up.

Hanna's drunken brain was suggesting calling Joonas and before any rational thought could stop her, Hanna was already looking for his number. She almost gave up when the phone kept ringing and ringing, but there was no answer.

"Hello," Joonas voice finally cut through the ringing.

"Oh, hey!" Hanna was a bit surprised he actually answered the phone, "You probably hate me, but I didn't know who to call and I'm at this place, and I'm alone and I want to get home."

"Jesus, Hanna! Are you drunk?"

"A bit, but don't blame me! These kids can drink!" Hanna giggled.

"Where are you?"

"I told you that I don't know."

"But you do know how to read. So be a good girl and see what the name of the pub is."

"You are asking too much and I'm not even at the pub anymore."

"Can you stay in one place and drop the location?" Joonas was trying to think rationally.

"I'll try," Hanna stood still in the middle of the pavement, "I just hope I don't freeze while waiting for you, my Prince Charming."

"Just do what I asked and I'll be there as soon as I can," Joonas ended the call.

It probably shouldn't be such a hard task to drop her location, but for her drunk brain, it felt like rocket science.

It took Joonas about 10 minutes to find the girl standing in the middle of the pavement. Hanna saw Joonas getting out of the car and asking her to get in, but suddenly her brain understood that this was a bad idea and she wanted to apologise to Joonas and walk away. Luckily or not so luckily for her, her legs were not working as they should due to her being so drunk and also because it was so freezing, so it took just a few seconds for Joonas to catch her up and lead her to the car.