Whiskey | Bradley Bradshaw

2

" Where's your head at?"

" In the clouds. Where's yours?"

" On my shoulders. Bout to show these suckers how we do it. You ready?"

" Higher, further, faster, baby."

Evie expels herself from her dream, sitting up in her bed and screaming her lungs out as the memories poison her brain. Hot tears scream down her cheeks as her heart aches and thumps in her chest, beating like a rocket. Her arms tremble, barely able to grip the comforter on her bed.

Foot steps thud in the hallway and then her bedroom door bursts open. Evie's sister Dina rushes to her side and wraps her arm around her. Dina brings her sister close to her chest as she tries to soothe her cries.

She thought it was getting better, but maybe Evie was just getting better at hiding it.

She knows the memories that plague her sister's mind, and it breaks her heart that she cannot make them go away.

So, Dina helps in the ways that she can, even when that means waking up at three in the morning to ease her sister out of a nightmare.

Evie continues to cry as she gets gently rocked back and forth. No words are spoken, the only sounds being the sobs of a broken hearted woman.

Moments go by before Evie eventually calms down. While not actively bawling in pain and misery, her unblinking eyes stare off into the distance as her head rests on her sister's chest. Tears pool at the edge of her eyes, some brave even to fall down next to the tears that have dried on her cheeks.

Dina takes a deep breath as she closes her eyes and begins to whisper.

" Mi Sheberach. Avoteinu. Avraham, Yitzhak, v'Yaakov, v'Imoteinu. Sarah, Rivka, Rachel v'Leah--"

" Don't you dare fucking pray for me," Evie grumbles, her eyes beginning to burn as she still refuses to blink.

Dina sighs, but listens. She recites the prayer within her mind as she brings one hand up to clasp the Star of David necklace resting on her chest.

" Would you like to talk about it?" She asks, " You said you would think about meds in a few years and, well, it's been a few years--"

" I self medicate," Evie interrupts before the rest of the sentence can be spoken.

" With booze?"

" And cigs."

Dina lets out a deep and heavy sigh from the bottom of her chest as she begins to chew on the inside of her cheek.

" Will you at least come to temple?" She pleads, " Everybody misses you. Rabbi, Maya... mom and dad."

Evie lets out a scoff as she frees herself from her sister's grasp. She climbs out of bed and opens her bedside drawer to pull out a pack of cigarettes and a red lighter. She slips one in between her lips and flicks the lighter with her thumb to ignite the end of the cigarette and allowing her to inhale the toxic smoke.

" Not in the house," Dina tsks as she waves the smoke out of her face.

And so, Evie simply walks towards the open sliding door and blows the smoke into the outside word, resting her cigarette in between her fingertips. She brings the cig up to her lips and hollows her cheeks, and then blows it out once more, hoping the buzz will help numb her mind.

" Are you gonna be okay?" Dina asks as her sister stares off into the dark California night sky.

Evie doesn't answer right away. She lets the smoke billow out and whisk away as her ever so broken mind attempts to come up with an answer.