Crush: A story gone wrong

Chapter 15

22-Mar-2012:

"It's been two days since I 'talked' to Mike and I still haven't heard a thing about him. This time, I know he won't come around. I just thought he maybe would show a bit of his well-hidden humanity. I just thought he would at least assure me he will support me morally, because he's got no job so I can't ask him to pay for everything I'm going to need. About my mom, I haven't talked to her yet. She seems to be more absent now than she was last week. Today's sunday, and after she comes from church I'm talking to her. I need to tell her, and I better do it soon. I'm gaining weight already and I can see a tiny bump in my tummy now. That was the reason I didn't want to wear anything tight, it didn't fit me anymore. Sam and Mia are helping me a lot. They have supported me and given me advice about how to tell my parents. They insist on being with me in that moment, but I always refuse to it. I have to take responsibility for my acts. I have to mature already and grow up. I'm 16, but I'm going to be a mom. I have to change. It's now or never." I wrote on my diary, still doubting about talking to my mom today. I walked to my closet and chose a sky blue with white stripes onesie and took my towel off.

My hair was still wet from my shower and I felt tensed up. The shower had been relaxing, but today wasn't going to be like that. Once in my onesie, I went to take a look at myself in the mirror. I looked so tired. I took a glance at the tiny bump that came from my belly. I touched it slowly and carefully. I loved him or her already.

The bell rang and I rushed down the stairs. I took a last look of myself on the mirror of the social bathroom and saw my face once again. Tired. Shabby. Uncared. Those were the words that came through my mind once I glanced at the mirror. I went to the door and opened it. It was Sam. His face lightened up with a huge smile in his face.

-Hi, love -He said while entering.

-Hi. Sorry I'm dressed this way. I know I look awful but it's the only thing I feel comfortable with. -I said in reply.

-You look beautiful. -He said, looking deeply into my eyes. His smile was even bigger now, and I could feel my cheeks being painted with pink. He made me blush often and he was amused by it. We stayed like that for a couple seconds, just staring at each other. Both of us had huge smiles on our faces and blushing every second a bit more.

-Your eyes are so beautiful -He said, breaking the comfortable silence but not taking his eyes off mine. -They're so deep. A beautiful shade of grey.

I blushed even more. I never had liked my eyes because they seemed weird. My grey eyes were a part of me I had always wanted to change.I set my view to the floor, I wasn't comfortable with my eyes at all.

-Don't look at the ground. -Sam's voice echoed in my head. He took two fingers and put them beneath my chin. He slowly tilted my head upwards.-They're beautiful. You're all beautiful.

I leaned forward to plant a huge kiss on his lips, my instincts winning over me. Yet, his reaction was a bit of a quick move I wasn't expecting. He leaned forward too, but instead planted a kiss on my cheek. I felt embarrassed at the way I had reacted. What the hell was wrong with me?

***

Mia entered my room with a bag full of chips, cookies and many other types of junk food snacks.

-So, you will talk to your parents today, won't you? -She asked, looking at me with wide eyes.

-Yup. -I replied, mesmerized by the food she was carrying.

-You've been answering the same thing for the past two days. You can't just keep it a secret. I mean, at some point it'll be obvious.  -She said, sounding serious.

-I know, I know. -I said, knowing she was absolutely right.

-Pinky promise you will talk to her tonight. -Said Sam, smiling at me while stretching out his pinky. I smiled and looked at Mia. She was smiling widely.

-Go ahead. Make your promise. -She said still smiling.

I stretched my pinky and united it with his. I knew this was a promise I wasn't going to break. I couldn't.

-Promises aren't meant to be broken Kate. Keep that in mind. -Mia said to me nicely, even though I knew all this was pretty serious.

-K! Now lets eat, eat and eat 'till our stomachs explode! -Said Sam enthusiastically before I could even answer to Mia. Suddenly, my whole bed was full of bowls with all types of junk foods. It looked like heaven.

We spent a couple hours laughing, watching movies and eating quite a lot. They left just about fifteen minutes before the time I knew my mom would be back. Was I psychologically ready for this? I didn't know, but there was no turning back now. I wandered in my room, repeating the monologue I had prepared for her in my head, time after time. I hoped with all my heart things would turn out so badly as they had with Mike.

I heard the door open and the keys hitting the table, but no voices. I went down the stairs slowly. I was really anxious and full of fear. After going down a couple steps, I saw my mom's frame but not my dad's. Where was he? I didn't matter at the moment.

I kept going down with a slow pace, afraid and anxious of what was about to happen. I finally got down the stairs and my heart rate started to become faster and faster. Every beat aching towards my chest.

-Hi, mom. -I said nervously.

-Kate, what are you doing dress up that way? You're now always in onesies, what a disgrace. -She answered, not bothering on saluting me. I continued

-Well.. Um.. There's a reason why I've been just wearing onesies. It's that.. 

-What is all this? -She interrupted me, looking at the bunch of empty bags of chips and doritos in the kitchen. -You're going to get fat, Kate. I can already see a belly coming up.

-Well, mom, there's a reason for all that. The onesies, the belly, the food. Everything. Mom..I..Um..I'm pregnant mom. -I said quickly

She stared at me blankly. She took the trash can and threw everything that was on the table away. My anxiety was eating me inside. Why wasn't she answering?

-Don't you have anything to say to me, mom? -I said practically shouting at her. She kept staring at me with no clear expression on her face and her eyes emotionless. She stayed like that for what seemed ages and I could feel the tears blinding my view again.

-You're having an abortion. -She said calmly. Still blank. Still no expression. This time, tears did come streaming down my cheeks.

-W-What? No, mom. I'm keeping the baby. Aren't abortions against God's law anyways? -I said, now actually shouting and tears streaming down quickly.

She grabbed the neck of my onesie and pulled me harshly towards her.

- I don't care what God says. It is my family's reputation. You are the shame of this family. You don't even deserve having the last name Taddley. You already embarrassed your dad and I once, I'm not letting you do it again because you still felt like slutting up your life. Why do you think your father won't come back before 2am every night, huh? -She said. Anger, hate and contempt all flashing in her eyes at the same time. My tears were on full flow now.

She let go of the neck of my onesie and pushed me away from her. 

-I'm still keeping it, mom. -I said baldly but still crying.

-You're having an abortion. This discussion is over. -She said, blankly and emotionless again.