𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬, 𝐬𝐞𝐭, 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐤𝐞!! ʳᵃⁿᵇᵒᵒ

EIGHT.

SPENCER.

she had kissed me. granted, it was on the cheek, but still. cassia boyer kissed me. my parents weren't home yet, thank god, so i raced to my bedroom without a second thought and got on my computer.

i scanned through my discord servers, seeing tommy in a voice channel. i joined, and without hesitation, i spoke, "tommy what do i do?"

"oh— ranboo!" tommy yelled in response, his voice raspy as he said my name, "whats up?"

i began to ramble, "so she dropped me off at home—like just now, i just got home—and she kissed me! ok not really it was just on the cheek and—"

"ranboo! stop!"

i looked up from my hands, which i hadn't realized i was staring at, and widened my eyes.

tommy and i both sat in the discord voice chat, the name of it just now coming to notice.

"oh—oh no you're live—oh god oh no—"

"no, its fine i switched to the starting soon screen, they can't hear us or see me now..."

"oh god—what do i do? i—"

"calm down, we can figure this out!" tommy's voice was soft, in an attempt to calm me down, but it was too late.

my hands were clammy and shaking, and i couldn't see straight. my vision was blurred, maybe from tears or the panic that resided within me. without another word i left the voice chat and shut down my computer.

i don't swear often, but i could confidently say at this point in time, for lack of a better term, i was fucked.

 ' , —

twitter was not a very fun thing to look at, people were speculating everything. from who this "she" was, to whether or not i liked her.

when i came out, i stated i was alright with the term "gay", and only mentioned slightly the extent of my sexuality, but never really truly expanded on it.

so, twitter was a war-zone to put it lightly.

constant fights of whether or not my attraction extended to women, and debates if it was insensitive to say i was. if someone tried to argue that i could possibly be attracted to women, swarms of people would respond, stating that it was erasure to my sexuality.

i had to say something. friends were reaching out, asking if they could do anything to help, or if they should make a statement on the matter, but i always said no. this was my mess to fix.

especially before cassia finds out.

 ' , —

Ranbalt
@ranaltboo
I don't want to stream regarding this situation, as the last thing I want is to draw more attention. First off, I should have payed more attention to my surroundings before saying anything. I joined the vc in a panic, not even seeing that Tommy was obviously in the live vc. That was a fault on my end, do not blame him for not telling me.
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Ranbalt
@ranaltboo
replying to @ranaltboo
Secondly, I am honestly quite disappointed in how you guys responded to it all. You should know that my privacy is what I value the most, and this was definitely crossing a line for me. If anything is ever said live that shouldn't be, in the future I ask to please not talk about it, especially not to the point where its trending like it is right now.
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Ranbalt
@ranaltboo
replying to @ranaltboo
Thirdly, my sexuality. I said before, even though I am alright with the gay label, I still have no clue what I identify as. I like men! Boys! I love them! But I tend to be attracted to people as I go.
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Ranbalt
@ranaltboo
replying to @ranaltboo
In short, please let this be the end of this. I am most likely going to be taking a break from social media as a whole, including streaming. Hope you all understand <3