Eerie || Min Yoongi

PAGE 51

Chapter 49
Yn:

Feelings are the worst emotion and right now I was feeling the worst kind of emotion. My life was taking turns and I didn't had any control

Inspite of all the things I wanted him .
No matter what he did who he is I needed him in different kind of way .

One tear rolled down and I clutched onto the mattress of the bed . He hasn't come yet , what did I do ? Why do I go completely brainless infront of him .

Before I knew I liked him but now when he came again there's a sudden fire burning inside of me needing him but why ? Why do I need him so much , why I want to look beyond his Black and gray personality why do I even care , since so many days weeks and months these questions are hanging deep inside of me but there are no anwers but only complicated situations and feelings .

I want to let go everything but I fucking can't .

I sniffed again as I hold the pillow tightly to my chest .

The door cracked open

But this time I didn't bother to see because the smell which I love and familiar with the most fills my broken heart .

The door immediately gets closed and I look up not leaving the pillow

The face that I need to touch the body I need to feel in my arms clutching onto it like a lifeline is here , present , But his face looks cold , colder than usual as if ... As if he wants to make things clear that he's not interested in me the way I'm into him .

A sob leaves my mouth and our gazes lock into each other but his doesn't show much emotions .

I want to breakdown into pieces .....

I get up from the bed I want to say something but my words gets cloaked in my throat .

But no sooner did I have the moment to react he walks closer to me invading in my space . My breath hitches at the sudden action .

I do not take a step back whatever it is I'm ready to face the consequences .

He moves more closer suffocating me with his proximity and I stand still . His perfume filling me with more euphoria.

I open my Mouth to say something

I ..... I didn't mean to do that .

God I feel like an idiot .

Do what ?
His eyebrows pull together in a devilishly kind of way he knows what I'm referring to . Such a moron .

I.... Kiss you like that . I'm sorry
I close my eyes shut while saying it . I feel so embarassed .

I know you don't like me Yoongi . Im sorry this will not happen again I'll keep my -

He cuts me off by pulling me by my waist and pressing his lips onto mine

Shit.

I don't have time to process , hell I don't have time to think or breath but I let go looking at him holding me as if I will go somewhere if he doesn't hold me tightly onto his body .

One of his strong arm wraps my waist so tightly i think I might get a bruise his lips moves in a sync and I give in melting in his kiss .

The kiss is passionate , forcing claiming hovering as if he wants me to know whom I belong to and I need this so much . Butterflies take off when he grabs my hair in a soft way pushing me towards him to have more acess to his lips and I push myself forward into him .

I'm falling hard in the arms of the devil

He pulls me more closer and darts out his tongue to explore my mouth . I don't let him in that easily but anyways he wins the fight . He kissses me until I'm out of breath. But then moves to my neck to give me all the butterfly kisses he starts with my jaw and then all the way to my neck .

I tilt my neck for him to give it more access . God I needed this so much . I needed him .
His kisses are as dominating as him .

He comes back to my lips and kisses me deeply . Cupping my jaw with one of his hands .

I'm so into it that I don't want to come out . This is it . I want to be with him I want all of him . No matter who he is for me he is my paradise my safe place even if it's bad I'm addicted to it . I'm addicted to him .

He releases me when I need a breath and his swollen lips makes me chuckle to myself .

But then I pull him closer by his collar and once again our lips crash into its universal .

He grabs my neck and I dig into his hair muffling it with my fingers after so much of needing him .

He stops our kiss and looks at me both our lips and hairs are muffled the deam lights in the room makes it more passionate .

He breaths heavily his lips just few inches away from me

This is wrong yn .

He says so low that I feel my body weakening

Why
I say while my voice breaks I don't want him to let me go then why did he kiss me like this ?

Because we can't , I can't
For the second time I saw hurt in his eyes . His voice weakens and I'm not familiar with his tone .

Then why did you kiss me ?
I let out my tears I can't hold back now I want my anwers he can't leave me when he made me so addicted to his smell to his voice to his presence to his soul to his heart - I can't ...... I really can't .

He drops his gaze and then looks at me again . I don't know why but the look in his eyes scares me as if he is about to say something and it will break me immediately . Doesn't he feels anything about me ?

He cups my face and his breath hitches gazing into my eyes

You are so addictive yn , I already crossed my morals but now I can't .

My stomach fills with more butterflies he called me addictive  but then what does he mean by crossing his morals ?

What do you mean ?

I told you already I'm not what you think you deserve better .

I furrow my brows what does he mean ?

You don't like me ?
I'm scared for his answer but whatever it is I had to know . I know it's late for me to ask this especially after kissing him but i want to know how he feels .

That doesn't matter

But why ? Tell me Yoongi ? What do you feel about us because I definately feel more than anything .

He pulls me closer towards him and holds me tightly .

I feel tingles in my spine when he pushes his hand up and down my back

I was scared that I might get used to you but now I think I'm far gone .
He says whispering low .

My heart beats in my chest so loud .

He releases the hug and looks at me with the kind of emotion that tells me he has more than like feelings towards me but still I'm not sure

My heart melts the way he's looking at me right now .

He holds my hands in his and I inhale a breath
You needed your answers right there you go .

Yes , I burnt the hospital because I was jealous .
Yes I had a crush on you since college
Yes I liked you for a long time
Yes I donated my heart valve to you

because my mother had died the same way and seeing your mother crying there for you made me feel bad but when you came to thank me I was crying in my room and didn't want to meet anyone because I missed my mother . I'm sorry his voice breaks again .

Yes I tortured you enough so that you can be away from me I wanted you to go away from me as far as possible because -

I furrow my brows in tension his confessions are making me go dizzy this can't be true he liked me ? Me ?

But his last sentence made me go in confusion

Why you wanted to push me away ?