Chapter 16

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Was I dead?

This had to be what death felt like. Heavy. Immobile. But also, completely unbothered. Safe. 

My brain slowly dragged itself up the mountain toward consciousness. Everything felt heavy. But also like nothingness. As though I had slept so hard that it wiped my entire sense of self blank.

A full reset.

As my body slowly grounded itself to reality and feeling came back in my limbs, I wiggled at the pleasant warmth that wrapped around me. Nothing was tangible yet. I could have been sleeping on a cloud for all I knew. A very comfortable and warm cloud.

But as I woke up more and my eyes twitched in anticipation of opening, things began to take shape. It didn't seem like a cloud that I was laying on anymore. It was hard and kind of lumpy. Like a blanket that had gotten twisted under me as I kicked in the night. Except it was a gigantic blanket. Maybe dipped in cement?

I wiggled around and tried to get more comfortable on all the hard lumps. The warmth was dreamy but whatever I was on had so many ridges and wouldn't soften no matter how much I shifted.

A hand clamped down on my hip, shocking me fully away as it squeezed me tightly. I lifted my head and blinked my eyes open. My heartbeat picked up as all the swirly images slowly came into focus. I was in Jules' house. I was laying on her couch.

No. Scratch that.

I was laying on Landon.

He was sprawled beneath me with his neck at an uncomfortable angle against the arm of the couch. His face was calm though. Calmer than I'd ever seen it before. The firm planes of his face were smooth. They lacked the usual furrow between his eyebrows or the slight pinch of his lips. For a few moments, I got lost in my raptured perusal.

In his relaxed state, Landon seemed so much younger. He never really fit in well with the other college kids. While some of the guys I'd seen were clearly still waiting for their second puberty, Landon was fully grown. He was a man. Or at least he'd seemed like it before. Not only did his brute size set him apart, but there was a maturity to his features. A weathering behind his eyes spoke of life experiences that many did not have.

But deep in sleep, there was a boyish quality to Landon's face. A peace that was obviously missing when he was awake. A small smile even immerged at the edge of his wide mouth as a dream played behind his eyelids.

The smile grew as he shifted beneath me. My cheeks heated with embarrassment when I realized that the ridges I'd been wiggling on had been Landon's hard body. His chest had been my pillow and my stomach was pressed against his hips.

I tried to slowly lift myself off of him but something heavy on my spine kept me down. Landon's hand was still locked against the dip of my back, pressing our bodies together. As I moved, his grip on me tightened and his smile slipped away as his eyebrows pulled together. He mumbled something under his breath as his bottom lip pouted out.

"Uhm," I muttered as I tried to shift myself to his side. I really didn't want to think too much about exactly which ridges I laid on, but Landon's hard body poked and prodded me in ways that made my chest flush with heat. "Landon," I added in a whisper.

When he didn't immediately respond, I brought my finger to his cheek and poked. Landon's face scrunched as he shook his head slightly away from my intrusion. "Landon," I whispered again with a louder edge.

"Stop," Landon muttered under his breath as his hand came up to snatch mine. His eyes never opened as he shifted closer to the couch and tried to fully fall back asleep. The large hand that clamped down on mine never released me and now I was truly trapped in his grip. With one hand on my back and the other keeping my hand against his chest, Landon had us as close as he possibly could.

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