I am a villain, Can I die?! (Suicidal Villain Deku)

Regret

A/N: I created the pic above for this book!

I remember every single one of my kill counts. It was horrible but normal for a villain. The first one was my mother and after that I lost my senses and went in the wrong direction. Maybe if someone was villing enough to help me out, things would have ended differently but I was all on my own.

I still remember when I killed my mother. It wasn't something I was proud of. In fact it was something I regretted the most in my life. I only wish I never did that. She was a great loving woman.

But that day...

I still don't know why I did that.

That day 3 years ago I was in Aldera High and was bullied extremely. I lost it, is what I want to sau the most but the truth is... I knew what I was doing. I knew how much I tortured her.

Tho there was no explanation as of why.

I don't even get the reason myself.

3 years ago I was left on the brink of death thanks to Bakugo. He not only used his quick on me but let everyone else use me as a punching bag as much they want. That day I lost all sensation and reasoning to the world. It was as if I wasn't myself anymore.

I remember waking up completely beat up and going back to class only for them to beat me up verbally. It hurt soo much ay first but I've gotten so used to it over the years that it wasn't bothering me at all anymore. It was as if I accepted every word they threw at me this easily.

Quirkless reject!

Quirkless bastard

Bastard

Waste of space

Abomination of nature

Useless

...

There was nothing I haven't heard once before. These were all my nicknames and I hated them with passion. Something about them manages to get me on edge every time.

Anyways that day everything just went wrong. I was told to swan dive, got beaten, got called everything but not my name and when I got back home my mother tried to lecture me about something and pray into matters. Whatever happened was just too much for me. I still remember grabbing the kitchen knife after she told me to make food and then just went for it.

After that I don't know what happened at all. It was as if I wasn't myself. I killed her, slashed and stabbed her soo many times. Blood splashes were everywhere even in the ceiling.

When I got to my senses I was already covered in blood and I had the knife in my hands. It wasn't hard to know what happened and the worst thing was that the moment he saw her dead body I kinda felt relieved.

As if that wasn't enough I enjoyed it. I really enjoyed the kill. That was quite shocking but also not at the same time. I was pushed to an edge to the extreme and I was ready to strike back. I was soo done with everything.

After that night I kinda got into a villain circle which called themselves the LOV and I got along with Toga soo much. They called us the crazy once, while I couldn't explain why blood was so fascinating to me for Toga it was natural and pure fun.

I can't believe they just ditched me like that!

After what I've done for them!

I knew I should have kept quiet about the nightmares I have.

I knew it.

I should have just kept it to myself...

I was stupid to think they would help me.

Why would they?

It's everyone for themselves!

I was standing in front of a railing and I knew that there was nothing left then this. What else would I do with my life after I have destroyed so many others. Did I even had the right to live after what I have done?

I ruined thousands of lifes since I was always targeting a mass off people, crowded places where my favorites and I always targeted them with hundrets of lives on the stake. This was how I got a name for myself. The funny thing was that it was thanks to them that I was known as Usagi as well as the number 3 ranked villain in japan and thanks to them I was member of the LOV.

Me: Finally... Maybe I will get redemption for what I did.

I was ready to just let go. There was too much I did. The list of victims was quite long and people knew me. They knew my face thanks to the USJ attack. Still the truth was... I never wanted this. I just never got help. Now that it was already too late, there was no other way.

It was already soo long that I managed to sleep for the whole night. The dreams and memories of each gruesom kill the LOV made me do was haunting me, the screams of my bombing attacks or even the deadly games I played with my victims where there was ZERO percentage of them to survive at all.

Me: *sigh* ... maybe I should have done this way earlier.

I had my villain costume but today I was in my normal favorite red bunny shirt. It was something my mother always designed for me and I made it an habit to attach some bunny ears on everything. It was kinda my signature as a villain. They knew me after all as "The killer rabbit villain: Usagi".

A jump that was all it took for me and yet for some reason I was hesitating to do it. However I did made up to do it and so I was about to make the leap and be free. I knew I had my suit in hell booked already and it was a presidential sweet since I liked it spacious. There was no way in hell that I would get in heaven. I didn't even had hopes to get in heaven or someone to help me anymore.

It was already to late.

So I closed my eyes and just let go.

It felt somewhat nice and for the first time in what feels like forever I felt relieved. This was what I've been searching for. This feeling was exactly what I needed for so long. 

Finally....

This shit is over....

I am sorry for what I did to everyone....

I don't know what's wrong with me...

If I only never got this obsession with blood...

Well finally this is all over...

See you hopefully never again and don't even think about giving me an afterlife.

I don't deserve it at all.