Regret//

2

The next morning you were woken up from your wonderful dream by Ian kicking you in the leg. You startled awake and quickly looked behind you to see Ian and Mickey...the milkovich  he was dating. You immediately got dizzy as soon as you'd as Ian and Mickey standing above you. You rubbed your eye,and rolled them around until you could see them again. You looked around the room and still saw Carl  on the floor with the vodka in his hand and drool coming out of his mouth. You blinked quickly before you looked at Mickey and Ian.

" Get up shithead" Mickey said.

" This ain't your bed"  Ian said as he stared at  you.

"......wh-what" you said quietly as you looked aliens with your eye squinted.

" Look kid I know it's awesome to be high but come on man" Mickey said as he got close to the bed and stared at you.

"Get up" Ian said after he rolled his eyes after what Mickey said.

" Here come on help me get your body high boyfriend up" Mickey said as he walked over to Carl and grabbed his legs.

You quickly got up and sighed before you walked over to. You bent down and grabbed his arms. You and Mickey looked at each other quickly in confusion.

" Hey" Mickey yelled at Ian that was searching threw his dresser drawers.

" Come over here and help" Mickey said as he stayed at Ian confused. Ian walked over to the side of carl quickly and put his hands under carls back.

" Ok......go" you said as you glanced at both of them before picking up carl but he arms,trying to lift him. You guys picked him up and quickly swung him on the bed were he plopped. You put your hands on your hips why you panted as you looked up fat the ceiling. Mickey was looking at Ian before he looked down and picked up the Vodka and sipped it really quickly before dropping it back down onto the spill stain. He then burped and quickly plopped down on Ian's bed and covered his eyes with his arm. You looked at Carl as you stared at them. Your face went dull and full of sadness as you wanted there love but with Carl. A wave of straight blue sadness went throw your body as you stared at sleeping Carl blankly,plainly,and dully. You wanted his love to be like Mickey and Ian's...touch,constant kisses,and some sex. You looked away from Carl as one last wave came threw your body. You walked out of the room slightly looking down thinking you yourself that you could have that love. You walked downstairs as you stared at drunk sleeping Frank laying on the ground with a beer in his hand,some spilled out all over the floor. You rolled your eyes as you stared at franks me though about how that could be your life. You sighed before quickly grabbing your Gallaghers keys to the house off the small hook by the font door and holding them in your hand in a ball. You opened the brown door and walked out slamming it behind you. You hustled down the 4 steps outside the door. You walked through the opening of the opened silver gate and turned left. You walked quickly down the sidewalk until you got to this abandoned old falling down bricks building. You walked behind the tree next you the old broken down property and slowly picked up your bottle of whiskey with a brown bag with sweat melted all over the bag over it why you looked around to see if anyone was looking. You hid it to your side as you jumped a silver fence to get to the abandoned place. You walked around slowly until you saw stairs. You walked up those stairs...drowsy with the bottle in your hand. When you got up to the parking garage area you walked over to a broken down white spray painted wall and slid down slowly on it until you sat done. The wall had stuff painted all over it that said stuff like ' fuck life', fuck you', and ' go fuck yourself'. When you wanted time to yourself you just came here and got drunk by yourself until you had to walk back to the Gallaghers at 11:00 at night. You took the cap off of your bottle and threw it to the side before slowly jugging the whiskey. Half of the time when you were at that place you just thought about everything. Carl,life, the future...

You didn't know what was going to happen in the next 3 years or so. You were scared of the future and you didn't know what to do about it because you can't run away from the future. You and no one but the Gallaghers... your cousin is rich and moved on,and your mom and dad are practically dead. You had no one to save you by them so you couldn't let them fall out if your life like everyone else but if you didn't watch it they would exit out of your life like they were falling into a black hole to get away from you. You thought you were a failure,a disappointment,a worthless piece of shit.

If you did go down in a severe depression again like you did a few years...you wouldn't let anyone pick you back up again unless it was drugs or alcohol. But now you and Carl that would pick you up easily this time if you did fall. All these years you tired to be perfect to everyone and as good as you could but nothing was working and it seemed like every move or thing out would say life would shit on you more. In your head their was 2 options for you.....kill your self, or have the drugs and alcohol kill you.

You sat against that wall and threw small rocks at the old jagged Car that was in front of you why you slipped your whiskey. You sat there for bourse thinking and thinking...it seems like all you could was think...heck you could probably think so much that your brain would explode and your head would pop.

Meanwhile back at the Gallaghers everyone was just doing their own thing. Fiona would just let everyone scatter like ants on a ant hill for hours until midnight...then she would get worried.

Ian was usually hanging out with Mickey,Carl was usually hanging out with his brothers,sleeping, hanging out with you, doing crime,or doing drugs or alcohol,Fiona was almost out everyday...fucking a new dude every day or 'working'....and frank just laid in the kitchen every day sleeping drunk, and Liam...well Liam couldn't really do anything except hangout with Franny and Debbie....Lip....well all lip did everyday all day was work at the shop....and Debbie either was out everyday with franny either trying to get a job, experiment with dating different genders, or try to find a girlfriend.

Everyday they all Just did the same thing until something big came up....just waiting for some new excitement in the house since Frank wasn't really exciting anymore.