MASON AND SAGE

Chapter 2 ~ Sage

Three days after I walked out on Mason, I arrived in Monterey, about as far from the east coast as you could get. The long days of driving had been spent reliving the scene in the alley, the scene that followed in our living room and wondering what my life would look like going forward. It was impossible trying not to dwell on the bridal gown that would never be worn, the wedding that would never occur, the happily ever after that would never happen. Whatever thoughts filled my head, I kept coming back to Mason's mouth devouring Eva's in that alley, his hands tangled in her hair. 

How could you, Mase? You were about to marry me.

Trying to reconcile that image with what I knew of Mason proved impossible. He wasn't like that. He just wasn't.

And yet, I'd seen with my own eyes that he was exactly like that. Did he feel bad? Yes, I had no doubt. I'd seen the shame and regret in his eyes. But he'd still gone there with her, breaking us irrevocably.

Why, Mason? What were you thinking?

With each mile I drove farther away from him, I was no closer to any answers than when I began my journey. Each night when I stopped at a hotel, despite my exhaustion, sleep eluded me. I twisted in bed, wondering if they were together now that Mason and I were no longer a couple. Had they been seeing each other the whole time Mase and I were together? Or was it something recent? Was it a final goodbye to her and their shared past before he and I got married? Or was he planning on marrying me and keeping Eva on the side?

Did you ever really love me, Mase? Was she always lurking in the background?

My mind recalled every single thing he'd ever told me about Eva, about their relationship, searching for clues I might have missed. Maybe the biggest clue was he'd never deleted his contact for her on his phone. Why hadn't I pushed harder for answers to that? Why hadn't I demanded he block her number and delete her contact? Why didn't I press for more information each time he'd told me she contacted him and wanted to get together? Had he really told her no? Did they meet secretly? Was he lying to me every time he said he'd told her no?

If I did manage to settle my brain for a few hours of sleep every night, I woke up drained, bombarded with the same doubts and suspicions all day long, no matter how good my driving playlist was. I was so far lost in my sorrow that not even angry chick anthems could lift my spirits.

I drove right to my apartment in Monterey that was provided for me as a travel PA. It was on a quiet street and within walking distance of the hospital. I'd told my new supervisor to expect me tomorrow -- even though she asked several times if I didn't want to give myself a couple of days to recover from the long drive. My answer was a firm no; I was desperate to lose myself in work so I could focus on something other than Mason and the way he'd broken my heart.

Do you feel anything, Mase? Do you feel like you've been torn in half, too? Or are you secretly relieved the pretense is over?

The apartment was a small, furnished studio, but it was higher on a hill, so I had a great view and could just about make out the bay. Overall, I was quite pleased with the place. Keeping it neat and tidy wouldn't be much of a challenge since it was maybe 600 square feet. I loved tiny spaces, and bonus! -- there was nothing in the apartment that reminded me of Mason's house. There was even a tiny, apartment sized stackable washer and dryer tucked into the bathroom.

It took me half an hour to unpack my suitcases and duffle bag, and I threw a load of clothes that I'd worn on the road into the washer. I set out my scrubs for the next day, my PA bag and my shoes. Looking up the address of the hospital on my map app, I saw it was a ten-minute walk, so I planned my morning schedule of a quick run, shower and breakfast and left thirty minutes to get to the hospital.