Dorm Room 210: Bonds

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Author note: This chapter has been revised and edited. Updated on 25th September 2017. Guys, 2012 was the shit! haha

Chapter 14:

Bonds

My only exam begins in ten minutes, and while my mind is clear with a firm grip of 'I know exactly what's happening' I have a little doubt that I won't be aiming high.

Professor Blake goes around asking if we're okay, always open for reassurance. I wait until she sees me before I give her a smile.

"Lillian, how's it going?"

"A bit nervous, but I seem to understand."

She nods and smiles, her straight white teeth like pearls. "I actually wanted to know how you've been coping here. Since I've known you always liked to sit at the front and not interact much with everyone else."

"It's getting a bit better," I reassure her. "I work well alone."

"Yeah?" It doesn't sound at all like I convince her. "I know you're good at being alone, but fashion isn't about striving alone. It's about working together in teams, collecting the best ideas to make the most out of projects."

I shrug. "I'm still getting used to the team aspect."

"And the team project? How's that going?"

I played with the pencil between my fingers. "Well. Noah and I seem to be on the same level."

Professor Blake stands up straighter and gives me shoulder a little squeeze. "Good luck, Lillian," she said before walking away and asking how other students are doing.

I check the clock. Eight more minutes until the Exam, and no sign of Noah.

Not that I've been able to look at him properly. It doesn't look like he's said anything to Nicole either since she continues to act nicely towards me.

My mind begins to plague up with heartbroken situations where Nicole and I are no longer friends, that she and everyone in the circle leaves me. Noah included.

I tap the pencil harder, but instead on the table I do it against my arm.

And then I stop.

No. No, I will not let this affect me right now. I have to priorities myself.

After, a voice whispers. Just do it after.

Falling a little back in my own darkness sounds like a perfect way to end a Wednesday.

***

There's barely anyone in the cafeteria since holidays came up, so finding a table is perfect. I yearned for Maccas as soon as my exam was done, ignoring anyone and everyone (Noah included) just to find that beautiful big yellow M.

I hate feeling this way, like I'm not good enough for the world. Moments like this just ignites the storm inside, and I become cold, negative.

All because I kissed Noah. All because I messed up and gave in and betrayed Nicole for cheating!

I scoff down the cheeseburger as soon as I begin to feel tears forming in the back of my eyes. I'm horrible, I'm the worst. The worst...

"Lillian!"

I turn with a cheeseburger hanging off my mouth as Nicole approaches me with a strong stride, her sharp eyes laying heavily on me. My chest tightens. This is it. This is how I die.

Only when she reaches me, a spark shoots through her expression, and a gentle smirk rests on the corner of her mouth. I have no idea what she's thinking, but if she does plan on killing me, I need to enjoy this cheeseburger.

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