The Love of a Crow - Wesper/Crows Fanfiction/AU

34. Kaz

A/N: Hi people! So, how's the recovery from the last chapter going? Not very well, you say? Well, I have arrived to make it better, or worse, depending on how you put it! Enjoy! :)

For a moment Wylan's screams resounded through the now-empty courtyard, before Kaz realised it was only the echo; he had vanished as if he had never been there at all.

"Wylan!" Jesper screeched, running forward into the receding mist. Too late.

"Don't let him go!" Kaz ordered shakily, and Matthias grabbed Jesper, hauling him away from the centre of the Exchange, away from Wylan. Jesper fought for a moment before giving up and collapsing onto the floor, shock freezing any tears that may have fallen down his face.

"You tried to kill him," he eventually mumbled shakily, before looking up at Nina. "You tried to stop his heart."

Nina could only turn away, hiding her face in Inej's shoulder.

"YOU TRIED TO KILL HIM!" He screamed.

"Jesper, shut up." Kaz snapped, fighting away a blaring headache.

"Don't, ok? Just. Don't. I bet you were the one that ordered her to do it in the first place."

Kaz couldn't argue that. He had been the one to order Wylan's death, though his mind had felt a part of the mist in that moment. He had observed Wylan, looking helpless and broken on the floor, screaming for mercy, and had seen himself. A younger Kaz, a Kaz who went by a different name belonging to a different life. Looking back, he would have done anything to save young Kaz from the torture the Barrel had in store for him. And in Ketterdam, without money there really was only one way to escape; death.

And yes, maybe it was wrong, and maybe he had misjudged Wylan, but he would rather give his Crow a quick and painless death than whatever punishment a rich merchant could afford.

"You know what, Brekker? You disgust me." Jesper hissed as he slowly rose to his feet. "You use us like pawns in a cheap chess game, and when you're done with us, you chuck us out like we mean nothing. How much is Nina worth, huh? Matthias? Inej? Is she worth more or less than Wylan? How much am I worth, Kaz? Or would you give me over without a penny!"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up." Kaz muttered, praying the chant would break him from his sleep, would return him to the empty room back at his Club, not in the remains of a snake pit he had dragged them into.

"Oh I'm sorry, is my boot kicking too far up your selfish ass?!"

"Both of you, stop it. Fighting isn't going to help anybody right now." Matthias interrupted.

"Who is there to help? He doesn't deserve any of our help, just like he didn't deserve Wylan's!" Jesper hollered.

Wylan. A Crow. The first Crow he couldn't save.

Kaz, let me do this! If all else fails, you'll all be far enough away that you should be safe.

I'm not done with Ketterdam yet, or its people.

I think I would like to stay and be a Crow.

Kaz shook as rage and hatred coursed through him, and a miserable, limp feeling of loss that couldn't shift. It was something he had kept in a locked box for a long time, maybe even too long, and Jesper's words were like the key.

He doesn't deserve our help, just like he didn't deserve Wylan's!

His limbs moved on their own, his gloved hands wrapping around Jesper automatically as he tackled him to the floor. Leather met skin in a jaw-rattling force as Kaz drained his pent-up anger in the only way he knew how; violence.