The Love of a Crow - Wesper/Crows Fanfiction/AU

21. Jesper

A/N: Aha, ready for some unrealistic fanfic cringe? Hehe, me too. Yeah, there is no way in Ghezen's name that Bardugo would ever write like this, but I live for the angst and the fluff, plus this is Wattpad, so I'm giving myself a pass. I hope you enjoy, and have a good day/night! 

 Silence flooded the room as Kaz's footsteps faded away. Wylan fiddled with his hands awkwardly, then winced as he touched his burns. He tried to meet Jesper's eyes, but Jesper kept his eyes trained on the floor. Wylan fiddled with his hands again.

To be honest with himself, Jesper didn't know what to say. Things felt different between them now... from the awkwardness and nervousness to the intimate moment they had shared that Wylan had surely forgotten, and another emotion Jesper couldn't control. Anger.

What was he even angry about? Wylan was safe, he had survived, but that didn't stop the blood boiling in his chest. He had been so close to killing Van Eck, just metres away from the house. Jesper could practically hear the chaos unfolding... the slamming of doors, the shriek of a bullet piercing flesh, the wails of journalists as they tried to barge past the stadwatch officers guarding him as they led him to his trial, and, illegidley, his death. Kaz wouldn't be able to pull him through this time. He wouldn't perform a daring prison escape for him. Not this time. The world would watch him die, but it wouldn't matter, because revenge would be served and a despicable man would be dead and his son...

His son. Wylan. Jesper had left Wylan out of his plan. Because he knew what he would see; Inej had only highlighted that.

How can he heal if you are gone?

She was right. Wylan would not congratulate him or thank him. Jesper knew from the short time that they had known each other that that just wasn't who he was. From what he had heard from Wylan and Kaz's conversation, Wylan wanted to grow; to leave behind his father, not in a pool of blood, but as a distant, dusty memory. And who was Jesper to stop that? He would much rather be part of Wylan's new memories more than his old ones.

Jesper looked at the boy now; his hair was ruffled as usual, sapphire eyes unable to focus on one thing in the room that he had managed to make as messy as it could possibly be in the last few days. His fingers wobbled over each other as he tugged at the few remaining banadages. Those beautiful, pale hands. So unlike Kaz's black, masked ones and Inej's small, knife-throwing ones. Completely opposite to Nina's powerful, Heartrender hands and Matthias's large, bone crushing fingers. They were alien to his own as well, but that was Wylan. He was different from everyone, but that only made him more perfect. He had a piece of all of them mixed together, and that was Jesper's favourite part about him. He suddenly had the strong urge to grab his hand and never let go, because it was the only thing Jesper could ever give him; his hand.

But, underneath all that, all of his emotional, roller-coaster feelings and revelations, Jesper was still angry. And he didn't even know who at anymore.

"Um... Jesper?" Wylan eventually said, breaking the silence, and Jesper's thoughts, like glass.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

The words weren't supposed to leave his mouth. In fact, Jesper hadn't even realised he was thinking them. But when they did he realised that that was what had been bothering him so much; that Wylan had kept this all to himself. That he had endured everything; Kaz's harsh words, Matthias's weariness, Nina's babbling, Inej's calmness and even his own insults... and all the while his father had him on a leash, striking him with scars that might never fade. And, even if they did, no one could ever completely forget. Van Eck had left a ghost.

Wylan looked surprised. "About what?"

Jesper snorted. "You know what."

Wylan scowled. "Why would I? You never seemed to care until recently! It didn't matter anyway. You said it yourself; I was going to die either way."