The Arts

28 - Confessions

ANDI

          "Wow. Okay. This is...kind of hard to begin," Andi gulped, her eyes traveling around to each of her peers. Sure, Ivan and Tyler had some apologizing to do within their own group, but Andi had to apologize to damn near every single person in the room, with no hope of forgiveness or reconciliation of any kind. And that was overwhelming, to say the least.

          "Well, figure out a way to begin. We've all got stuff to say," Kiara snapped.

          Andi winced, but she knew she deserved the sharp words. "True. Okay. I guess I'll start with you. I shouldn't have yelled at you last night. I was all upset over losing Henry and I wasn't thinking straight. I'm sorry I started that fight."

          A beat of silence went by. Andi knew that she should've kept going, but the words became a jumbled mess and refused to leave her brain.

          "Please tell me that isn't it, right? You've got loads more to say to me," Kiara frowned, her arms crossed.

"What else is there?" Andi shot back, frustrated.

"Oh come on. How about the way you blamed me for every single thing that went wrong. How you took your anger out on me when things didn't go your way. How you refuse to take accountability ever and make it everyone else's problem? Honestly, Andi, the fact that you don't understand how infuriating and immature you are proves you're not even ready to apologize!" Andi winced as Kiara listed off everything.

But was it really as bad as she made it sound?

She didn't get it. Kiara was pretty, and social, and never needed any help getting boys' attention. But whenever Andi liked someone, it was always a guarantee that they wouldn't like her back. No matter what she did. She'd try, and try, and try, and break herself down into tiny little pieces and build herself back up into whatever he wanted, but at the end of the day, at the very core of herself, she was still Andi. And that made her not good enough.

But that didn't really matter, did it? Feeling bad about yourself is never an excuse to lie and steal. And Andi did both of those things. Multiple times. To people she claimed to care about.

Andi nodded, fresh tears escaping her eyes, worsening her already pounding headache. "You're right. I've been pretty much the worst friend to you." Then she looked at Robbie and Matt. "And you guys too. I never should've taken the lie this far. It wasn't fair to the band. I was selfish. And Matt, I shouldn't have spilled your secret. It wasn't mine to give, and I used it against you to take the bad spotlight off me. That was awful."

"Matt was right earlier about me being careless and backing you into a corner," Robbie finally said. "I wanted to use your lyrics, and I could've just, I don't know, kept you on as a songwriter without pressuring you to learn the bass faster than you were able to."

"I'm sorry. Really, I didn't mean for the lying to go this far. It's just...I didn't think you'd like my songs. And when you did, I guess I latched on to that a little too strongly," Andi's face turned beet red as the words left her mouth. "It's not every day that I get approval from people who are more talented than me."

          "I forgive you," Robbie reached his hand over and patted Andi's shoulder.

          "Me too," Matt nodded. "At least you had the courage to say what I couldn't."