The Arts

21 - ...Know When to Fold 'Em...

IVAN

          It was Thursday. Probably one of the most average days of the week any other time of the year. But it was the Thursday of homecoming week and the theme was "fairy tales." Ivan was never one to dress up, and even his Coolness Advisor Jack had told him as such to keep it that way. So it was surprising to everyone, but mostly to Ivan himself, when he donned a wolf costume, plastic gold crown, and red cape. Surely there was a fairy tale somewhere with that kind of character in it, right? Ivan didn't know, and he honestly didn't care. The only thing on his mind was making a spectacle of himself. Because spectacles were how people asked their crushes to homecoming.

Yes, Ivan was going to ask Gianna to the big dance on Saturday.

All eyes were on him as he strutted down the hallway with a dozen pink carnations in hand. Classes had just gotten out for the day, and he had to be quick if he wanted to catch Gianna before cheer practice. Tyler had tried to convince him to ask her during Freshman Orientation, but Ivan needed something bigger than a classroom. New, popular, exclusive Ivan made grand gestures because he knew people would say yes to him. Especially Gianna.

He couldn't believe that she had kissed him the other night. They were alone in his room, his dorm mate thankfully elsewhere for the evening, and the total lack of nighttime room checks made it stunningly easy for kids to sneak weed in every now and again.

They didn't smoke much. Just shared a smaller blunt. Between drags Gianna admitted that she thought Ivan was a try-hard on their first day of class together.

"I mean, you were kinda right. I was," Ivan chuckled. "Sometimes I feel like I still am."

"Nothing wrong with putting effort into things, I guess," Gianna said. "There's weird try-hards and then there are good ones. You know they're good because the trying isn't, like, fake for them, if that makes sense. Like they don't just do what they do to be liked by everyone. They do it because that's just who they are. And that's what I see in you, Ivan. You're genuine."

She was so sincere when she said it that Ivan could feel it in his bones. And yet, she was so, so wrong about him. Everything he did was just another scheme to keep himself at the top of the social food chain. So he laughed it off and deflected. "I think you're really high."

"And I think you're really hot," Gianna giggled, and she leaned in to kiss him. Ivan barely had time to register what was happening until her lips were on his. He accepted it without question. This was his first kiss. It was his first...anything, really. And he could not believe he was lucky enough for his first to be Gianna.

Assuming that it wasn't just the weed talking, Ivan was confident that she'd accept his homecoming proposal. He had nearly reached the cluster of cheerleaders in the hallway when he was suddenly jerked back, the wolf head ripped off by none other than Jack himself, who looked none too pleased with Ivan's display.

"What the hell is this? What did I say about costumes?"

"Dude, what is your problem?" Ivan didn't even address Jack's questions. All he felt was blind fury. "Also, how did you know this was me?"

"Your stupid friend Tyler told me. I thought I told you to ditch that freak, anyway," Jack frowned and crossed his arms, looking much more like a demanding parent than a friend.

          "Calm down. It's just a homecoming proposal," Ivan said, waving the carnations in Jack's face, "if it wasn't obvious."

          Jack snatched the flowers out of Ivan's hand. "Watch your mouth. Do you want my help or not? I told you this kinda thing is weird. Makes you look like such a try-hard. Stay away from costumes and stay away from grand gestures. Here," Jack handed back one of the carnations to Ivan and dumped the rest into the nearest trash can. Ivan flinched.

          "Sorry," Ivan felt himself saying, though he didn't actually feel like there was anything to apologize for. He had always thought that being a try-hard meant putting tons of effort into something you didn't truly care about. But he truly cared about Gianna. Was putting in any effort a bad thing?

          "So who's the lucky girl, buddy?" Jack's demeanor had changed so quickly that it nearly gave Ivan whiplash. Ivan blinked, unsure of how to respond. Did he really wanna tell Jack about Gianna?

          "Um, she's—" Ivan turned towards the cluster of cheerleaders, only to find that they were no longer standing around their lockers. His shoulders slumped and he sighed in defeat. "It doesn't matter. She left."

          "Damn, that sucks," Jack murmured. "You totally could've if you just weren't wearing that dumbass wolf head."

          "What is your problem?" Ivan asked, angry. "I could've asked her if you just let me, but you insisted on trashing my moment."

          "Hey, I'm just trying to help you. Need I remind you that the only reason people don't think you're a total loser is because of me? We can change that if you keep it up."

          "I just don't get why it's so bad to do fun things. There is nothing wrong with a themed homecoming proposal. Girls think it's cute," Ivan was exasperated now. If only Jack could just explain his reasoning to him, it would all make sense. But he seemed to just be dishing out rules for no reason.

          "Look, if you wanna screw up your chances of actually being popular for once, that's on you. Don't ask me for help if you're not gonna take it," Jack stalked off, leaving Ivan to process their argument alone.

Ivan wanted to scream. He wanted to hit something, that something being Jack's stupid face. But it was no use. Jack was right. He had to be, didn't he? After all, he was the coolest senior in the art department. He had tons of friends, partied almost every weekend, and the best part was that no one ever dared to make fun of him. That was what Ivan wanted.

Gianna was long gone, probably already suited up in the gym for cheer practice. Ivan slumped his shoulders and sighed. It was too late to find her now. He'd be going to homecoming dateless, just like he had always been, and for several agonizing moments he got the feeling that whatever game he was playing for popularity wasn't turning out to be anything like he'd hoped.

Ivan looked down at the single pink flower that Jack had salvaged before destroying the rest of the bouquet. For a minute he considered waiting until Gianna got out of practice for the day. But it was homecoming week; who knew how long she would take? Besides, he had more charity footage to sift through — Tyler wanted a new promotional video ready by Homecoming. Defeated, Ivan gingerly dropped the final carnation into the garbage with the rest of them. He had gotten used to folding all his life; what was one more time? He tried to trust Jack's advice and hope with all his heart that not getting to ask out the girl of his dreams would somehow be worth it in the end.