Call Me Ishmael

Chapter 21

Author's Note: Always wear a helmet while riding a bike.  Wearing one while not riding a bike is also a good idea.  You can buy this book at Amazon, B&N, and at Smashwords for any other device.  Available in paperback at Amazon.

Math was never my strongest subject, but I had always enjoyed mathematical trivia.  For instance, I knew that if the sum of the digits of any number adds up to nine, that number must be evenly divided by nine. It was not this piece of trivia I thought of at the time, though, nor was it the significance of the old record player speeds, but it was mathematical...and the only possibility we had.  

I shoved my gun into my belt and lifted my hand, palm out, in the universal gesture of peace.  “Don’t hurt the next one,” I said.  “Let him talk and I’ll answer him.”

No one said a word, although Bety made a different universal gesture. 

There was no need to wait more than fifteen seconds.  A Swarm-being stepped out into the tunnel.  He waved his blue-lighted pole, and I stopped.

“I am Graw the Unclean,” he intoned. The words were now familiar enough that I knew what was coming. “Surrender.  Resistance is futile, and consumption will likely follow.”

It was time to make the effort.  “Very well, Graw.  We surrender, but only on one condition.”

The creature blinked its multiple eyes.  “I accept your surrender.  Lay down your weapons.”

“You haven’t agreed to my condition.”

Again, he blinked numerous eyes and he glanced around.  Whether he was waiting for backup, a sign from above, or just having trouble processing, I couldn't tell.  Finally he said, “I will listen, but the Swarm makes no promises.”

“I understand.  We just need an answer to one question, and then we can die in peace.  We’ll probably taste better, right, guys?”

Bety took up the bait.  “When I’m not at peace, I get all sweaty and I itch something fierce.  Probably some kind of germs.”

Both Finnie and Splice edged away from him.

The Swarm-beast did not move.  “Ask your question.  The Swarm-mind will answer it.”

Finnie had not wasted her time on board ships, and she saw which way the wind was blowing.  “Promise?”  She smiled and dimpled.  She was so perfect, so fetching, so beautiful that I knew even an insect-like creature was smitten.  I could tell, because it was like looking in a mirror.

Graw the Unclean swiveled his head toward her.  He paused. “Promise.”

I drew in my breath.  “Okay.  Well, this is what’s been bothering me.  It’s about irrational numbers.”  The creature nodded its head, anxious, I guess, to get on with it.  It’s funny how some gestures, like head nodding, seem to cross cultures and even dimensions.  I had immediately recognized Bety's gesture.  I hoped that math worked across dimensions, too.  I fixed the question in my head, and fired.

“What is the final digit in the mathematical constant representing the ratio of a circle to its diameter?”

Graw laughed.  It was an eerie sound, like a tarantula licking a leg wound.  “That is elementary.  You ask for the final digit of pi.  It is six.  Wait, the Swarm-mind has moved to the three billionth, two hundred twenty one millionth, two hundred twenty thousandth digit.  It is nine.  No, zero.  Three.  One.  Nine….”

His eyes dimmed, brightened, and flashed.  He slumped to the ground.  I reached forward with my foot; he was dead.

“I say, what happened?”  Niles, looking down at the body, looked mystified.  “That was as if the thing’s beastly little mind exploded.”