Call Me Ishmael

Chapter 13

Author's Note: Be extra careful on Friday the 13th.  You can buy this book at Amazon, B&N, and at Smashwords for any other device.  Also available in paperback at Amazon and Createspace.

“Yuck,” said Splice.  Her pink hair flickered to bright red.  “I see you found Bety.”

Bety scratched himself.  I would not have been able to reach those places with two elbows on each arm.  Splice’s eyes grew until I thought they would fall out of her head. 

“Dad,” I choked, trying to look away from Bety.  “I found your device.  But I’ve lost Finnie, and I don’t know if I care if we save the multiverse or not, if she’s not part of it.”  I held the metal object out to him.

My father tried without success to cover a huge yawn.  “Sorry.  Today's been a long night, and I’ve been working like a rented mule.  Now listen, don’t worry about having to make that choice, son.  First, we’re at the Base, and there’s not going to be a dimension in which you saved her, and another in which you didn’t.  There’s only going to be the one.  And anyway, we need to have Finnie, because she’s the only one who can operate the device.  So without her, no one is saving anything.”

I dropped my arm, stunned.  “What?  What are you talking about?  I thought I was this mysterious One, the only one who could restore balance to the force, or whatever you call it.  It's Finnie you need, then, not me.  To think that I actually felt special, for the first time in my adult life, really special.”

“Geez Louise.  We're all special, son.  That's what makes us all the same, you know.  It's just not in the way you think you are, maybe, but we can’t all be the top pancake on the stack.  Not all the time, anyway.  The fact is the device you’re holding can only be activated by Finnie’s weaponized fingernail.  Designed it that way, myself.”

I paused to digest this.  So I wasn't the Destined One, the Chosen One.  But I had a purpose.  If only Finnie could activate the device that could save us all, and she had disappeared, it was all the more reason to find her.  It was a noble quest.  “Okay.  How do I find Finnie?”

Dad thought for a moment.  Bety burped, and Splice moved further from him, which brought her closer to me. 

“Hey,” said Bety, “I have feelings, you know.  I’m not just a walking hunk of humanity, I actually can be hurt.”

Splice smiled.  “Sorry, Bety.  But you know how it is.  There’s something about your aura that fragments my isepalators, and I can’t have them in a state of diminished recalibration.  The digitaliti would have fits.”

Bety snorted, gripped his large nose and shook it.  “I don’t have any more of an aura than a standard rabbit, which is what I should be sitting down to eat, right about now.  My wife is going to fragment my isepalators when I don’t show up.”

Splice made a face.  “You don’t even know what an isepalator is, Bety.”

Grinning, Bety leaned on his ax.  “No, you called my bluff, you pink-headed fluff-ball.  I don’t.  But I guess that whatever it is, I could chop in half.  So how about treating me with a little respect?”

I cleared my throat.  “Listen, all, this is more a little bit more important than chopping up isepalators.  If we have any chance to save the multiverse,  I have to find Finnie.”

My dad, bless his heart, jumped in and agreed with me.  “If you lost Finnie in Bety’s dimension, we may be able to trace her after all.  You'll need Splice to go along for tech support.  Bety can be the muscle.”

Bety tucked his ax in his belt.  “That's what I'm talking about, Splice.  The muscle.”

“Count me out,” Splice shot out.  “I don't want be anywhere near Bety.”