Conditional Love

9. Rush

Alyssa

"I can't believe we have a class together, isn't this exciting?!" I say cheerfully as I push Michael through the dark, nearly empty campus.

I had been feeling worried throughout the entire lecture. It was the only class I hadn't made any friends in by the end of the first day. That hasn't happened since kindergarten - I was sent to timeout for most of the day for biting a kid who was bullying my cousin.

"Riveting," he mutters. "You're in engineering, what are you doing in that class? It wasn't even on your schedule."

"I found out I didn't need to take that intro math course, my AP credits from high school covered the requirement," I explain. I guess suffering through AP calculus for a year was worth it. "This was one of the few courses without prerequisites that still had spots open."

Michael says something, but I barely register his words as we begin heading down the familiar sidewalk with giant trees growing along the side. I gulp, feeling my pulse quicken as I try to ignore the shadows cast by wispy branches creeping up the streets. They're the last things I saw before entering the parking lot the night of the accident and looking at them leaves an unsettling feeling in my stomach. I've been avoiding this area ever since, but I must have gotten too distracted talking to Michael.

"You can't complain that I don't speak enough then ignore me when I do speak," he grunts. "Make up your damn mind."

My throat feels too dry to speak even if I wanted to. I feel sick to my stomach as we continue down the path, eventually reaching the parking lot.

Michael turns around to look at me. "Alyssa? Are you there?" He furrows his brows before following my line of sight. "Oh..." he says quietly when he sees the lot. "Are you alright?"

"Y-yeah," I murmur and begin pushing him more quickly. I do my best to avoid looking at the parking lot, which is nearly impossible. It's ridiculously long and stretches down the entire block.

Michael turns a bit to peek at me again. "Hey, did I tell you about what my orientation day was like?" he asks with a tone much softer and warmer than usual.

"N-no."

"It was interesting," he begins.

-----

"Hi Grandma, Grandpa!" I greet them cheerfully once they've finally joined the call. I flop onto my stomach on Michael's bed and scoot closer towards my laptop.

"Glad to see you two figured out how to FaceTime on your own this time," mom chuckles. The last time we had a family call, I spent more time helping grandma and grandpa figure out how to use their iPad than actually talking. "How have things been, Alyssa? Are you settled in yet?"

I debate whether or not to tell them about Michael. I doubt they'd want to hear that I nearly killed someone during my first weekend here.

It's crazy to think that it's only been a week since I arrived. This has been one of the most chaotic weeks of my life. "It's been good! I met some people at the sorority orientation a few days ago and rush is tomorrow." I've been incredibly nervous about rush all week. It hasn't helped that Carmen is just as nervous and we've been continuously feeding off of each other's energy.

"You're looking into Alpha Delta Pi, right?" mom asks.

I nod. "Of course, Mom." A couple of the other sororities seemed interesting at orientation, but I'd never admit that out loud. I know this is what mom and grandma are expecting from me.