FLOOD

Hard Goodbyes

“Don’t waste your time reassuring the human.” Bolthur put his breakfast plate down by the sink with a bang. Everything he did was aggressive, it made me jumpy. “We should leave now. It’s a half day there and then we’ll have to wait to get an audience. There’s no way I’m going to travel back in the dark after we get shot down.”

“All right.” Ake paused by the door, reaching down to pick up a pack and slinging it over his shoulder before turning to me. “Ready to go, Valka?”

It was weird the way he said my name. So formal. “I’m ready. And it’s Vee, no one calls me Valka.”

“Aw, how cute.” Bolthur sneered. “Do we all get nicknames now?”
            Something in me was at the breaking point. There was only so much I could deal with, leaving Eli behind was already putting me on edge, and this guy wasn’t helping. I curled my lip at him, making my disgust clear. “What is your problem? Do you wake up in the morning and practice being a complete jerk, or is it just something that comes naturally to you? And yes, I have a lot of nicknames I think would apply to you, but my mother taught me better.”

Gunny raised her brows and pressed her lips together, nostrils flaring, clearly holding back her laughter. Bolthur just glowered at me, and he started to open his mouth, but the commander cleared his throat, interrupting whatever he’d been about to say.

“Let’s try to keep this civil, you two. Especially you, Bolthur. Gods, she’s practically a child and you’re baiting her. What’s the matter with you?” He turned for the door, ignoring the outraged looks he was getting from Bolthur and I.

“I am not a child.” But it came out sullen, and under my breath. Sort of like…well, like a child. Cheeks burning, I turned to Eli. “We’ll be back soon. By lunch time tomorrow I think.”

He stepped closer, hesitating, reaching out to touch my arm briefly. For a second, with his usual smile gone, and his brow creased, he reminded me a little bit of Cain, and my heart twisted in my chest. The thought of Eli’s brother would always remind me of my days in the cage, and when I found out about Kalda.

That was why I was leaving now though. That was why I would put up with Bolthur, and put on a brave face going before a king and queen who might very well call me a liar. For Kalda.

“You’ll be okay, right?” He glanced over my shoulder, and his eyes went even darker. “I don’t trust him.”

I didn’t have to turn to know he was looking at Bolthur. “Neither do I, but even as a jotun, his body is partly made of water.” I gave him a smile, and his concerned expression relaxed a little.

“You’re somewhat terrifying, you know that?” Eli said. “I’m just glad you’re on my side now.”

“Same.” He had no idea how glad I was to have him on my side. If it hadn’t been for him…well, it didn’t bear thinking about. “I’ll see you in a bit. Have fun with Bifky, get him to make us some more bacon when we get back, okay?” I gave him one last, bright, fake smile and then turned away, heart beating hard in my chest.

Ake was leaning against the open door, eyes fixed on Bolthur, which was probably why the shorter jotun wasn’t making any rude comments about my goodbye. He just looked sullen.

“Keep a watch on at night, Bifky.” Ake said. “And kick the rest of them out of bed after we leave, all right? I want double vigilance while I’m gone.”

Bifky nodded his understanding.

Then we were filing out the door one by one, and I was falling into step behind Gunny, and Bolthur was right behind me so there was no way I was going to turn around to look at Eli one last time, even though it felt a little like my stomach was trying to lurch up into my throat. I hated leaving him here, so out of his element. It felt like leaving Fiske all over again. I knew it was nothing like that, Eli wasn’t in any danger. But it still felt like one more small betrayal. Like I kept failing the people who cared about me.