𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕻𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖙𝖞 𝕺𝖓𝖊

VII:𝔴𝔬𝔪𝔞𝔫

1866 Paris:

I walk into Amy cleaning her brushes "hello Amy" she seems upset "hello Lilith" "when do you begin your great work of art,raphaella?" "Never" " 'never'?what?why?" "I'm a failure,Jo is in New York being a writer and I'm a failure" "don't be so hard on yourself,that's quite a statement to make at 20" "well Rome took all the vanity out of me,and Paris made me realise I'd never be a genius,so I'm giving up all my foolish artistic hopes" "Amy...you don't do art to compete with genius you do it because you enjoy it and you have so much talent and energy" "Talent isn't genius,and no amount of energy can make it so I want to be great or nothing.And I will not be some commonplace dauber,and I don't intend to try anymore" I don't like this,not one bit Amy have been doing art her entire life she can't give up just like that but there is no winning with Amy March.

"What women like us are allowed into the club of geniuses anyways?" I change the subject "The Brontes?" I chuckle "that's it?" "Yes I think so" "and who always declares genius?" "Men I suppose." "Cutting down the competition" she laughs "that's a very complicated argument to make me feel better" "do you though?do you feel better?" I smirk and tries to hide her faint smile "I do think male or female,I am of middling talent" I scoff "middling talent you say" I hop over and sit on a stool in front of a canvas she chuckles smiling,that's all I want "may I ask your last portrait be of me?" "All right,but I have to position you right" "what's wrong with how I sit?" I ask dramatically "nothing,nothing" she walks up to me gently moving my legs to the side before she strokes my jaw slowly before moving my chin up slightly she looks at me intensely scanning me face and I am seriously fighting the urge to do anything that I'll regret.Her eyes land on my lips for a long moment and she sighs shaking her head going back to her canvas,I don't know what just happened but I love it.

"What are you doing with life?" She asks slightly worried "nothing really,my grandfather expects for me to marry soon" she sighs sadly avoiding eye contact and fidgets with her brush "who do you have in mind?" "Probably Jack Vaughn,he is friends with me and Laurie and he is rich,richer than you even" "...I thought you didn't believe in marriage" "I don't,it's just-so many people expect it from me and I have to give them what they want" "what about the people that don't want it?" "Well,I doubt anyone wouldn't considering I'm a useless woman and he's a rich man" she sighs "as long as you love him" I sigh looking out the window "I don't know what it means to love someone,I might love him,I might not,I'm yet to discover that" "w-what do you mean?" "You know what love is because you grown with loving parents that teach you stuff like that but I don't have that,I have a brother but that's is a different type of love.You grow up watching your parents romantic gestures you might find embarrassing but that teaches you real love.I have grown up to just being called pretty from men and that men are all powerful and I'm meant to provide babies for them,that's love apparently"

"I think the poets might disagree" I chuckle "I'm not a poet,I'm just a woman and you know for a woman to have a future if they aren't artistic geniuses like your family I have to marry,that's it.It may not be for you but it most certainly is for me" I see Jack and Laurie outside the  door "oh speaking of Jack,there he is right now" I laugh and she sighs "in that case can you unbutton me please" she turns around still fidgeting with her hands,I unbutton her apron and undo the cute bow slowly before taking it off her dress and patting her shoulders "there you are" "thanks" I turn to her "how do I look?do I look alright?" She scans me with a smirk "you look beautiful" I sigh,I get this everyday "you are beautiful" she then smiles at my face and my eyes soften and I must be a blushing mess "thank you" I smile before heading out holding the door for Amy which she smiles at me for.I go to Jack hugging him "Jack!" "Lily!" I can feel eyes burning through my skull so I release him and I hear Laurie scoff at us but I don't know why.