Finding My Self

Mr. Blue Eyes

A throbbing pain pounded away at my temples. It paralyzed me; too intense for me to open my eyes or move.

I laid silently, listening to my surroundings. There was not much to pick up on. The only sound I could heard was the soft hum of an air conditioning untit nearby.

Despite the pain I sat up, surprised by the site my eyes fell on. I had expected a lesser faith for myself. The brilliantly lit room and the modern wood furniture was not something that had crossed my mid.

In the midst of my disappointment, my mind wandered to the man I'd thought was my salvation.

What had happened to him?

Maybe he realise that by ending my life he would be granting me the thing I desperately wanted but didn't have the courage to execute.

Swinging my feet of the bed in exhaustion, my world spun. I saw everything in a blur; everything spiraled into a dull rainbow of colors.
It's was a fast paced hypnotic dance of light and objects that put me in a deep trance.

My mind couldn't seem to make sense of what was happen when my face came flush with the cold floor. A surprised yelp escaped my busted lips.

Groaning, I tried to get up but my body had given in at this point. My hands failed below me and I came crashing once again to the hard tile. My mouth hit hard against the tile.

Strong unfamiliar arms wrapped around me and even in my state of wonder and insanity I couldn't help but let a screeching sound pierce through the room.

'' It's okay,'' the person said, but I knew this was a lie. I couldn't remember the last time things were okay.

I tried with all my might to be free but to no avail. A voice whispered into my ear, '' I'm not going to hurt you, just relax."

I felt myself being lift of the cold ground and placed onto a soft bed. With teary eyes I looked up at the person holding me.

I had lost the ability to breathe. His eyes were locked on mine ,sparkling with all their glory.

Light blue electric orbs that seem to have an endless depth with sparks of green, a sharp nose with high solid cheek bones and a chiseled chin. His lips were as pink and full as any will ever come. He a work of art, a Greek God in his own being.

His lips parted in a smile that caused his eyes to twinkle even more. "um...hi," he said in a deep soothing voice.

" are you hungry," he asked. I however said nothing in reply, just kept my eyes on him not even blinking causing a knowing burn at my retinas.

"You must be hungry, what do you want to eat," he spoke again, his voice soft and affectionate. Once again I remained silent. He let out a sigh and then left the room.

I found it very strange the way he spoke to me.

Maybe it was the way he looked at me as though he was actually seeing a person and not as if I was a ghost or a sex symbol. Or maybe it was the way he spoke as if I was a person of equal standing, not below hi as I knew I was.

I chuckled slightly at the last thought. Me, an equal to a man... a gorgeous man never the less.

It was funny as it was sad. A woman should be free to make her own decisions, have her own opinion and have a right to be and do what she wanted. Not to be enslaved, abuse and rendered useless. and easily disposable. But the rules didn't apply to me I guess.

There was a light knock at the door that broke me from the trance his eyes had locked me in. I looked away to the pale tiles but yet I remained rooted to my spot on the plush mattress. I felt his hot stare on me but not once did I look up. In the same second the weight of it had left me and the sound of the metal door opening could be heard across the room.